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So yeah...last weekend was round 5 of the MotoGP World Championship at Le Mans, which was the home race for exactly zero riders in the MotoGP class. Last time out at Jerez, Marc Marquez took his fourth pole position and win of the season. For all my confused baseball nerd friends out there, it's the equivalent of batting 1000. You're welcome.
In France, it would be a Spanish guy on a Repsol Honda (no, not that Spanish guy on a Repsol Honda, but the other Spanish guy on a Repsol Honda)who would take pole position and the win. Tech 3's MotoGP rookie, Pol Espargaro, put in an impressive ride to qualify in second position...to celebrate, he and his brother later cried and hugged it out. Andrea Dovizioso put the Red (not quite as much of a) shopping cart (as it used to be) in a decent third spot. Bradl in fourth, Rossi in fifth, and Lorenzo in sixth...so on and so forth.
Race day...Spanish guy on a Repsol Honda (SGOARH from here on out) takes his spot at the front of the grid. DORNA, who don't want SGOARH to check out from pole position, and make the race as boring as the country it is being held in, throw a little hush money his way so that he'll make a shit start, and be forced to work his way back up through the field.
The lights go out, SGOARH fulfills his obligation, and does a full retreat to around tenth position. Meanwhile, up front, Andrea Iannone punts Homeboy Hayden off track just three corners into the race. Bummer, dude. With SGOARH back in the pack, somewhere, it was Dovizioso who took the lead followed by Bradl and little Asparagus. Dovi's time at the front lasted only a few laps before Rossi came through and pissed on his parade. Rossi quickly put a gap on the field, and looked like he might bag his first win since Assen, last year.
SGOARH had other ideas as he was tired of fucking around with the mid-packers. SGOARH hit the 'soul crusher' switch of his Honda and quickly made his way through the field like shit through a goose...kind of like an expert track day rider who goes out to pick on the novice group just for funzies. Up front, Rossi was looking all comfy until his pit board let him know that SGOARH was closing quickly and would soon be on his yellow and blue ass. Like this and like that, SGOARH caught and passed Rossi, and went on to put a gap on the field that was best measured with a sundial. Guess who won the race? Rossi cruised it home in a safe second place.
Before the last race, at Jerez, Gresini Honda's Alvaro Bautista got the 'pull your head out of your ass' speech from his team boss after a hat trick of crashes at the previous three races. That 'talking to' seemed to work as Bautista finished a decent sixth at Jerez, and scored his first podium finish of the season at Le Mans after a good battle with little Asparagus. Bautista celebrated while little Asparagus went back to his pit box to hug and cry...that guy's kleenex bill must be out of control.
So, with his win at Le Mans, SGOARH became the youngest MotoGP rider to win five races in a row, or something like that. Old Rossi, once again, looked like the the Rossi of old. Methinks he'll sign on for another two years at Y'maka.
MotoGP world championship points standing after round 5:
1 Marky MARQUEZ Honda 125
2 Daniel PEDROSA Honda 83
3 Valkilmer ROSSI Yamaha 81
4 Anders DOVIZIOSO Ducati 53
5 J-Money LORENZO Yamaha 45
6 Steve BRADL Honda 39
7 Pauly ESPARGARO Yamaha 38
8 Albert ESPARGARO Forward 37
9 Bradley SMITH Yamaha 34
10 Alvin BAUTISTA Honda 26
11 Andrew IANNONE Ducati 25
12 Nicky HAYDEN Honda 23
13 Cleetus AOYAMA Honda 21
14 Scott REDDING Honda 18
15 Mr. HERNANDEZ Ducati 16
16 Calvin CRUTCHLOW Ducati 15
17 Carol ABRAHAM Honda 9
18 Colin EDWARDS Forward 7
19 Donald PETRUCCI ART 2
20 Hannah BARBERA Avintia 2
21 EdelBroc PARKES PBM Goose Egg
Next stop is Mugello, where the Uccios will be in full effect...boyeee!
T...out
Hello to my follower out there. I'm sorry for missing the Argentina race. Lately, my work with the Michael Hutchence Syndrome Awareness foundation has been very time consuming, and has been preventing me from updating this trainwreck. The work is hard, sometimes emotional, and occasionally leaves me feeling a little choked up. On the plus-side, you are about to be treated to a report that covers not one...not three...but two races. Happy early Festivus, to you.
First up was MotoGP round 3 at the Autodromo Termas de something something Rio Honda in sunny Argentina. This is a new track on the MotoGP calendar, and that would have one believe the playing field would be a little more level. Right? Right.
In the first practice session, It was current MotoGP superhero, Marc Marquez, who finished in a lowly (for him) fourteenth place, while almost everyone else went quite a bit quicker than him and started getting getting their hopes up. That didn't last long, as from the next session on through qualifying, Marquez resumed his 'Soul Crusher 2K14' world domination tour and finished the day in pole position for the race...his third of the year. Lorenzo and Pedrosa rounded out the front row, but still were about a second behind Marquez on the charts. Rossi in sixth, Homeboy Hayden back in twelfth, and blah blah blah etc. etc...plus tax.
Race day...the riders grid up, an Incan child mummy is unearthed, the lights from red to off, and the boys motorboat it into the first turn. Lorenzo hit the front with Crazy Joe Iannone on his ass, in second. It didn't take long for Iannone to fuck up and let the Rossi/Pedrosa/Marquez train steam past. Lorenzo came out on top and looked like he might be able to put a gap on the rest of the field. As this was going on, Albert Espargaro was sitting in the gravel updating his status to 'Just crashed...frownie face'.
Rossi and his homie Iannone were bickering over second place as Marquez, who got a shit start and dropped back to seventh, was on the case and was soon up to second where he began to apply pressure to the rear of Lorenzo. Lorenzo responded to the pressure on his rear, but it wasn't enough, as Marquez applied more pressure, and soon shot across Lorenzo to take the lead, and the eventual race win.
Back a few places, Pedrosa reeled in Lorenzo, applied a little pressure (because he's a little guy), and made his way to his customary second place race result. Lorenzo managed a solid third and seemed pleased. Rossi, who wasted much of the race mixing it up with Iannone and Bradl, scored a decent/not-so-decent fourth place. May the fourth be with you.
So, there ya' have it. Three races in, and Marc Marquez has scored a hat trick of pole positions and wins. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Marquez' countryman, Alvaro Bautista, scored his own hat trick (but not the cool kind). For the third race in a row, Bautista beached his Honda, and has scored zero points in the process. 4 out of 5 motorcycle forum nerds who were surveyed agree that Hayden should be given that bike for the rest of the season.
Smoke break...BRB
On to the second race of this 2-fer. This time it's Jerez, in Spain, where the MotoGP common-taters reminded me 100 times 'the season really kicks off'. Duly noted.
Qualifying was it's usual self with that young Repsol Honda guy from Spain scoring his fourth pole position of the year. Second on the grid was that factory Yamaha guy, followed by that short Repsol Honda guy in third. The older guy on the other factory Yamaha started from fourth.
Sunday at 2PM (local time), the riders gridded up, a donkey was sacrificed, the marshall (thinking the bulls were about to run) waved a red flag, and vamos! Ducati's Andrea Dovizioso get the jump and leads it into the first corner. That lead lasted about ten seconds, as Marquez, Rossi, and Lorenzo all made their way past Dovi in the next two corners. it was fun while it lasted. A few corners later, Rossi barged YoungPunk93 out of the way to take over at the front. Marquez humored Rossi for a few laps, letting him think he actually had a chance. The pair slap-boxed for a few laps until Marquez hit the 'fuck this...I'm out' button and went bye-bye.
With Marquez out of the equation and off to win the race by a few clicks on a sundial, it was down to BFF's Rossi and Lorenzo to battle over the final two podium positions. Those two tango'd for a bit before Rossi politely made his way into second which is where he finished the race. Pedrosa put up a good fight, but settled for a company man-styled third. Lorenzo in an unhappy fourth. So there.
Special mention to Gresini Honda rider, Alvaro Bautista, on his inaugural 2014 race finish. Keep up the good work...the sky's the limit.
With round 4 in the bag, the top-10 MotoGP world championship points standings look a little something like this:
1) Marcus Marquez 100
2) Daniel Pedrosa 72
3) Valkilmer Rossi 61
4) Andrew Dovizioso 45
5) George Lorenzo 35
6) Steve Bradl 30
7) Albert Espargaro 30
8) Bradley Smith 28
9) Andy Iannone 25
10) Paul Espargaro 25
Next up is round 5 at Le Mans, in France. Get there, Jacques!
T...out.
