World Superbike 2009

Well...with this year's MotoGP grid fielding a paltry 18 bikes, and the now-neutered AMA series quickly turning into a NASCAR-style circus (blame the DMG, not the riders), it looks like World Superbike will be the king-shit road racing series this year. 32 full time riders, 7 factories, and an influx of new riders...the sparks will fly for surely. 3-time AMA champ Ben 'Russian' Spies has made the jump to a factory Yamaha. New bike, new team, new tires, and new tracks. He was fastest in the first session at Phillip Island...damn. Here's a cute little slide show with music by some band called The Clash.



From MGPN;

The global market is dropping faster than King Kenny McRoberts Jr. pushed out of the International Space Station with a parachute made of Harley Davidson Fat Boys. Businesses across the globe are cutting back worker's hours, from Japan (where they are now limited to a 175 hour workweek) to Spain (where the max is now 3 hours per month). Things have gotten so bad that Jorge Lorenzo has traded in his golden nugget for a silver one, and Biaggi can no longer afford prescription hair treatment aids and has resorted to gluing Giovanni Bussei's beard trimmings to his ever expanding scalp.

Huh? What was that? Oh, you wanted a 2009 World Superbike Preview? Well that is an entirely different story…

Strolling through the off-season headlines, testing and press releases you wouldn't even know there was an Economopocolypse raging across our wildly mismanaged little planet. WSB is doing just fine, thank you very much. While F1 loses Honda* and MotoGP loses Kawasaki, Superbikes has managed to add both BMW and Aprilia. For those of you counting at home that means F1 and MotoGP each both lost a backmarker, but WSB added two backmarkers. You don't have to be a recently fired Wall Street moneyman to realize that…well…none of that crap matters a lick unless BMW/Aprilia find some pace.

But it is not just new manufacturers that World Recessionbikes has brought into the fold. They also managed to loot AMA and BSB series champions Ben "Russian" Spies and Shane "3rd Degree" Byrne. Other additions, such as Tommy "Up" Hill, Jonathan "Sun" Rea, Broc "Car" Parkes and Shinya "Required-By-Law Yearly MotoGP Cast Off" Nakano, almost ease the pain of losing Shoo-Fly Aoyama.

To quote stand up comedian Dave Attell, "You ever make fun of someone so much you feel like you should go and thank them for all the good times?" You will be missed Shoowie.

Moving on, it also means the full-time field is larger than ever before so I better get on with it…

Here they are in the finishing order at the recent official test at Portimao.

Shane Byrne
It was a shockingly good start to proceedings as he trounced the field for all three days of the test. Sure he was helped by being very familiar with his Ducheati while several other front runners were trying to get their footpegs positioned right, but it was impressive nonetheless. Byrne + Ducheati = Victories for years now (while Bryne + Anything Else = Crap is just as true), so things are looking promising.
stockStock Rating: High Risk, High Reward

Ben Spies
Despite his MotoGP dreams being hampered by greed and mommy (management) issues, Spies landed on his feet by stepping into the very competitive Yamaha Motor Italia R1. In an attempt to squeeze out every iota of performance from their rider, his team then painted up his new R1 to look like an AMA Yoshimura Suzuki. Cunning. With his inherent skill, a professional squad, and large chip on his shoulder, only mastering new tracks stands between him and victory. That and actually having to race more than one person. In that case his elbows-out style will probably serve him well in the smash-and-bash world of World Superbike.
stockStock Rating: Strong Buy

Noriyuki Haga
Speaking of landing on his feet, The Samurai Of Smarts finally wised up and took the old saying, "If you can't beat them, join them" to heart. After a career of playing underdog to overbored factory twins, Haga takes on the mantles of "Favorite" and "Cheat"** for the first time. He began his Superbike career on a Ducati (in Japan of all places) and nearly won the championship previously a privateer (A.K.A. "mechanically unsound") Ducati, so we know he can get on with the Balogna twins. Will it be his year or is he destined to be the Mamola of WSB? The only thing we know for sure is SuperbikePlanet.com will continue to hate on him.
stockStock Rating: Blue Chip

Tom Sykes
Also obviously benefiting from the Yamaha Motor Italia expertise, Sykes made his intention to not be outshone by his better-known teammate. As I know nothing else about him, Wikipedia states, "His girlfriend is named Amie. He loves coffee and coffee bars. He was born with a tail." Okay, I made the last sentence up.
stockStock Rating: More Data Needed

Carlos Checa
This old bull still has horns. He just seems to misplace them sometimes. Checa had more ups and downs last year than Amy Winehouse had pills. One weekend he would be on it, the next it would be easy to forget he was even in the championship. But when he was on he did not disappoint, such as his dominating double win in Utah. The only real disappointment from his rookie year was not nearly enough massive highsides. I expected more of him, frankly.
stockStock Rating: Monitor Closely, could crash

Max Neukirchner
The Man Of A Thousand Misspellings came on strong in 2008 but seemed to fade later as the season progressed. That may not be accurate, however, as he did finish in the top 5 in 5 of the last 9 races. Slow starts before coming through the field while the top three riders ran away just made it seem like he finished worse than he did. With Biaggi/Aprilia looking feeble, Good Max might be the only Max to matter this year.
stockStock Rating: Solid Buy

Jakub Smrz
We all know what to expect from S'mores at this point. Great qualifying, subpar racing and gooey, chocolaty deliciousness. Don't get too excited no matter what until he actually finishes on the podium.
stockStock Rating: Smoke And Mirrors

Michel Fabrizio
Ducati's number one man, at least in his own head, looks to continue where Bayliss left off. An Italian winning the SBK championship on an Italian bike? Believe it or not it has never happened before. 3 Brits, 2 Australians, 1 American and a no-doubt smelly Frenchman held the Bologna factory colors high. In fact, that Frenchie is the only non-English speaking man to take the championship on a Ducati, and that was in 1990. Suddenly things look a bit worse for the Japanese/Italian headed Corse team. But one thing Girlsname has going for him (her?) is that we all know he was sandbagging behind the Ducaussie® last year. A whole season of unhindered racing may change things.
stockStock Rating: Pink Chip

Jonathan Rea
Stepping up with promise and sliding around like a loon is Johnny Rea. Having pushed Andrew "Smiles" Pitt to the limit in WSS, Rea comes in with promise and after a good final outing in Portimao last year. Hopefully more promise and a hell of a lot more luck than poor Sofuoglu whose off-the-track tragedies still make me feel sorry for him. Wikipedia steps up to the plate again offering "For much of his career he has been backed by Red Bull." Absolutely enthralling stuff, Wikipedia.
stockStock Rating: Don't Invest In Wikipedia

Leon Haslam
Returning to WSB after a three year absence, the man with the kickiest legs around returns to make his father proud. I still remember a SuperBike Magazine article from years ago which depicted a barely teen Haslam absolutely destroying his competitors in a race at Donington in a "Honda CB500 Cup" event. It was a picture of a seemingly pilotless CB500 leaned into a corner with the caption "There's a Haslam in this picture. Can you find him?" How far we've come, how little we've grown.
stockStock Rating: Sell Short

Troy Corser
Everyone's favorite dad / professional racer prepares to etch even more lines in his face while bending the new BMW racing effort to his accomplished will. The man rode well to finish second in last years championship despite not winning a race, but it was plain to all that he deserved at least one and was completely robbed of another by rain. BMW finally built a bike several shades less wonky than all previous efforts and initial impressions are promising. Corser knows how to develop a bike and BMW appear serious. The man finished 2004 in 9th position on a Petronas for god's sake!
stockStock Rating: Not Yet, But Soon

Yukio Kagayama
The man who never made a bone he didn't break returns for another year of bashing himself against the finest racing surfaces in the world. While specializing in Suzuka 8 Hours/Job-Retention, there has been very little else to get excited about. Unless you like crashes. The most common thought fans have while watching him race is "I hope he doesn't take out (insert favorite racer) when he crashes." Please don't hurt yourself, Yukio.
stockStock Rating: Volatile

Regis Laconi
2009 promises to be better than ever for Regis. Not only did he ditch the Kawasucki but an off-season spent learning new Kung-Fu moves from Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow (G.I. Joe, in theatres this August! ***) in between entering himself in illegal dog-fighting competitions have made this hard man even more of a destructive force. Word on the street he is planning to ride without leathers so that he can psych out the other riders by flexing his pecs under hard braking.
stockStock Rating: Approach With Caution

Ryuichi Kiyonari
The Karate Kiyo showed some moves last year that promised a big 2009. So what is he doing down here? Your guess is as good as mine.**** Not likely to stay this low for long. Wax on…wax off!
stockStock Rating: Buy

Broc Parkes
Another moving up from WSS, Parkes hopefully hasn't set his hopes too high as the Kwaka has a history of dashing even modest hopes.
stockStock Rating: Falling Quickly

Alessandro Polita
Apparently the financial meltdown did claim a couple victims. Polita took one for the team and will not be present for the first two rounds of the championship due to Sterilgarda realizing Byrne was much better and they should focus on him only.
stockStock Rating: SELL!

Shinya Nakano
"So-So" Nakano lost his MotoGP ride by consistently finishing in Edwardth-Minus-Two Position. So off to WSB on an Aprilia, which, while looking trick, seems to be fairly poo. But at least he has company in…

Max Biaggi
Aprilia seem to about to deliver the finishing blow to the careers of two former GP stars. These two aren't exactly known for development riding and the RSV4 currently acting more Cube than Mille. At this point Mad Max may start complaining about wanting equal machinery to the Kawasaki.
stockStock Rating: Avoid Both

Brendan Roberts
When I saw B. Roberts on the timesheets I almost jumped out a window. Thankfully he is not another son of a former world champion, so he has than going for him…
stockStock Rating: Higher Than Kurtis's

Makoto Tamada
Still on a Kwak and now the 5th best Jap in the series. Dead and buried, this one.
stockStock Rating: Ha Ha Velly Funny

Gregorio Lavilla
Victim #2 for the Financialopocaplypse as he'll be missing the first two rounds before joining up for the European rounds. Runner-up to Shane Byrne for "Rider Most In Need Of A Ducheati To Remain Relevant" followed closely by Little Leon in 3rd. Here's hoping the fashionable Spaniard gets some results.
stockStock Rating: Circling The Drain

Tommy Hill
Far too many young gun Brits that I don't know anything about. One thing I do know is he is in a dead heat with Crashayama for most near-death experiences from racing accidents. Eventually whatever undamaged original equipment the two riders have left will be salvaged, sewn together, reanimated via lightning, powered by raw fish 'n chips and sent back into the WSB fray on a Frankenbike cobbled together from old Nortons and Hodakas. And you thought Zombie Barros smelled bad.
stockStock Rating: I'm Clearly Running Out Of Ideas

Luca Scassa
Seriously, why does anyone sign for Kawasaki?
stockStock Rating: Don't Bother

Ruben Xaus
25th and fourteen places behind his teammate, we find the lovable and bouncy-when-dropped Xaus. Hopefully not the latest rider to suffer from The Ducati Effect, Ruben has never been in WSB on anything but a Duck. The Beemer is rumored to have world-class power, which may allow Xaus to join Fabitchio's right boot in orbit when the inevitable highside comes.
Stock Rating: Buy BMW Fairings, Sell To Team

Roberto Rolfo
Let's be honest. I'm not writing much longer. You're not reading much longer. Rolfo is not racing in WSB much longer. Just facts.
Stock Rating: Die Hard Fans Only

There you have it, all the contenders except Karl Muggeridge who was not at the test…or any other test for that matter. Remember when Ben Bostrom's Renegade Honda team started the 2005 season so late that the official WSB group photo showed all the riders sitting on their bikes on the grid, except for Bostrom who had to just stand there like a doofus? That didn't end well either.

But the 2009 World Superbike season looks like a classic ready to be made, and believe it or not we are less than a week until the first races of the year at Phillip Island! Fantastic!!

This just in as we went to press: Not only did the top contenders lap within tenths of one another (including BMW and Aprilia) at this weekend's test at Phillip Island, but Corser also struck and killed a seagull. I cannot imagine a better omen.

Boring

My sincerest apologies to all of the 3.5 people that actually read this crap. There's really been nothing to report. Business as usual around here; Red's taking some online courses, I've been trolling Ebay for go-fast goodies for my bike, some of our fish died and have been replaced, The Chezwicks have done zilch since our last show, I stopped drinking RedBull, I applied for an advisor position at Upper Iowa University's satellite 'campus' in Milwaukee, I played some foosball the other night and actually won a few games, and deleted all of the 'sent items' from my work email. It's supposed to be 60+ degrees tomorrow, so methinks I'll try to get out and make some after-work wheelies. Oh yeah...It looks like Blackbird Johnson and myself will be riding out to Utah in May for the World Superbike races. Smashing.