Fuck Superman

World Superbike Portimao - Superpole

Yamaha's Cal Crutchlow sits on pole (chuckle) for the second World Superbike round @ Portimao in Portugal. Crutchlow's teammate, former WSBK champ/piano tuner/MotoGP flunkee, James Toseland, will start from 15th. Toseland was last seen scrambling around his pit box looking for his little black book of excuses. You think that's sad, then check out the FACTORY Ducatis of Fabrizio and Haga down in 17th and 18th. General Lee Hayden and his ZX10R-series will start down in 24th in front of...well...no one.

Superpole Result:

1. Cal Crutchlow GBR Yamaha Sterilgarda YZF R1

2. Max Biaggi ITA Aprilia Alitalia Racing RSV-4

3. Carlos Checa ESP Althea Ducati 1198

4. Leon Haslam GBR Alstare Suzuki GSX-R1000

5. Jonathan Rea GBR Ten Kate Honda CBR1000RR

6. Jakub Smrz CZE PATA B&G Racing Ducati 1198

7. Shane Byrne GBR Althea Ducati 1198 1min

8. Troy Corser AUS BMW Motorrad S1000RR 1min

In other news...the other American, 3-foot-tall Jason DiSalvo, will start his 3-cylinder Triumph in a respectable 10th place in the World Supersport race. Nice work, little fella.

In other other news...AMA Superbike/Sportbike/Supersport be happenin', this weekend at the California Super Speedaway Complex in Fontucky, California. Anyone but Pegram...please.

See it all (along with a bunch of awesome commercials) this weekend on SpeedTV. (all times are Central)

Saturday

9PM AMA Superbike Race 1

10PM AMA Sportbike Race 1

Sunday

2PM WSBK Race 1

3PM WSBK Race 2

10PM AMA Superbike Race 2

11PM AMA Sportbike Race 2

Irish Road Racing

...it's magically delicious.

Happy St. Amateur's Day.

Fuck you, Ronnie.

AMA Daytona

The AMA roadracing series got underway down at Daytona bike week this weekend. Good racing all-around, but the performance of the weekend came from SpeedTV mouthpiece, Ralph Sheheen, who wowed us with nuggets of crucial information such as "on a motorcycle, the rear tire is wider than the front tire", and "here we are on lap 12, with lap 13 coming up". Tool.



Yamaha's Josh Herrin won the 200 on his R6. Herrin's teammate, Tommy 'hot mom' Aquino looked to be in contention for the win, until his crew bathed him and his bike in race gas during his first pit stop. Smooth move, dudes.

Jake Zemke did the double on his Michael Jordan Racing/National Guard GSXR1000 superbike.

16 year old Elena Myers bagged a top ten (7th) place finish in the never-to-be-seen-on-television Supersport race. Nice work, girl.

Oh yeah...this is my new Fire-belly toad. His name is ZX7R, and he pushes the 'shift' key for me. Ribbit.

T...out.

World Superbike Phillip Island

Finally...some fucking racing! The 2010 World Superbike series kicked off from the ever-rad Phillip Island circuit in Australia. Much to the relief of the rest of the paddock, 2009 champeen and series dismantler, Ben Spies, is off to MotoGP to team up with Colin Edwards in the Yamaha Tex-3 team. With Spies out of the picture, will this finally be Nori Haga's year to bag the championship, or will he be denied for the 67th time?

2009 World Supersport champ, Cal Crutchlow has teamed up with MotoGP refugee/piano tuner James Toseland in the Factory Yamaha team. Both of them seem to think they have what it takes. 2009 British Superbike champ, Leon Camier has teamed up with Max Biaggi on the factory Aprilia team. Bitchin'. Personally, I think Biaggi has the best chance of denying Haga. The other MotoGP refugee, Chris Vermeulen, will be aboard the Factory Kawasaki ZX10R this year. With Kawasaki saying 'fuck you' to MotoGP and the AMA series, they are putting all their sushi in their World Superbike effort. We shall see. Our very own Porkchop Hayden has also given the AMA the finger and signed on to ride a satellite ZX10R for the Pedercini Kawasaki team. Apparently, the prospect of running around at the back of the World Superbike field is more enticing than winning supersport races in the AMA. Good luck, Rog.

Anyway...qualifying came and went, and Alstare Suzuki's new signing, Leon Haslam put his (it's not really 'his', he just gets paid a shitload of money to ride it.)GSXR1000 on pole. Fabrizio, Crutchlow, and Checa rounded out the front row. Where's Haga? He started from 10th. What about our old buddy, Xaus? He qualified 15th, but didn't race due to him destroying 3 bikes during qualifying. Bummer dude...see you in Portugal. And Porkchop? He qualified in last-teenth place, which is also where he finished both races. I'm looking at you, Vermeulen.

OK...enough babbling. The lights went out for Race 1, and Fabrizio immediately hit the front, but Haslam went around the outside of him into the really fucking fast turn 1 to take the lead. Balls. Haga hit the nitro button (see what I did there?) and blasted up to 3rd from 10th on the grid. At the end of the first lap, Haslam had stretched out a decent lead over the factory Ducati boys. Everything pretty much stayed the same, until Toseland hit a wrong note and highsided himself into space over the top of Lukey Heights. Jorge Lorenzo would’ve been impressed. A few laps later, Toseland’s fellow MotoGP refugee, Vermuelen, tossed his Kawasaki into the gravel. Welcome back to World Supers, you two. Crutchlow then decided to follow teammate Toseland’s example and and lost the front into one of those tight, hairpin corner thingies. Dear Mr. Spies; Please come back. Love; The Yamaha World Superbike mechanics.

The front group of Haslam, Febreze, and Haga continued to put a huge gap on the rest of the field. It looked like Haslam was on his way to his first-ever World Superbike win. Into the last lap, Febreze closed up on Haslam and was looking for the win. As they crossed the line, Fabrizio was originally credited with the win. It was then declared a photo finish, so race control reviewed the finish, flipped a coin, and awarded Haslam the win by 4/1000 of second. Haga cruised home in a safe 3rd.

On to race 2. Febreze got the holeshot, but Haslam, once again, went right around the outside to take the lead into turn 1. Balls pt. deux. The front three were the same as race 1, for now. Meanwhile, Alstare Suzuki’s other new boy, Sylvain Guintoli, was picking people and joined the back of the front three and then took Haga and Febreze in the span of two corners to take over 2nd place behind Haslam. The next lap, Guintoli upped the ante and went past Haslam to take the lead in to turn one. Meanwhile, back in the pack…Vermeulen, not happy with his dainty race 1 tipover, decided he wanted to make this one count and fired his Kawasaki (and himself) into the tire wall at 100+ mph. He was stretchered off to the medical center, but should be back for Portugal.

Back up front, Guintoli held the lead for a few laps before being taken by Haslam and Febreze. While this was going on, Checa was rapidly moving through the field and soon threatened the front two. Checa made his way up to 2nd and, with one lap to go, was right on Haslam’s arse. Game on. Checa lined up Haslam around the outside of Lukey Heights and stuffed into the next hairpin and held on for the win. Nice work, amigo.

Race 1

Haslam-Suzuki

Fabrizio-Ducati

Haga-Ducati

Race 2

Checa-Ducati

Haslam-Suzuki

Fabrizio-Ducati

So, that's that. Round one is in the books, and Haslam leaves the island with a 9 point championship lead over Fabrizio. Checa sits in 3rd and Haga in 4th. The next stop is Portugal in a month.

T...out.