World Superbike - Donington Park

Fresh off of last weekend's round @ Misano where he clawed back a whole 5 points on Haga's championship lead, Spies rolled into Old Blighty still 48 points down. Qualifying saw Spies on pole (imagine that) followed Biaggi, Byrne, and Nakano. Spies' only real concern in the world, Haga, started from the middle of the second row in 6th spot. Will it rain? Who cares....I am perfectly aware that I can get some sweet financing on a Yamaha ATV and, no, I don't want to tune in Tuesday for NASCAR Cribs, so start the fucking race, already!

Race 1...Spies gets the holeshot into turn 1 followed by Biaggi and Haga. To be honest, there really wasn't too much to this race. Spies and Biaggi put a gap on Haga. Biaggi managed to stay with Spies most of the race...I'm pretty sure that was due to Spies going just fast enough to keep Biaggi behind him, but still in front of Haga. Smart ride. Further back, the Aggro-American John Hopkins did good in his first post-injury race to make his way up to 8th from 11th on the grid. Spies took the top step of the podium with his buffer-buddy Biaggi in 2nd. Haga cruised to a safe 3rd.

Spies

Biaggi

Haga

Race 2...Second race, same as the first (kind of). Biaggi gets the lead into turn 1 in front of Spies. Spies was just funnin', though and went past Biaggi intot he following corner. Biaggi's teammate, Nakano, wasted no time in running his rickshaw into the gravel and out of the race. Bummer. Not wanting to be left out, Biaggi did the same, but managed to get back on track...and get sideswiped by a passing rider in the process. Haga was the next to hit the deck, and he did it in spectacular style via a fast, but goofy-looking highside. Originally it was thought that he had cracked a vertebrae and broke his wrist. Turns out the vertebrae was an old injury, and he had his wrist plated-up. He should be back at the next round in Brno in about a month. In true Groundhog Day style, Spies would scurry off to take his second win of the weekend. With Haga out, it was up to his teammate, Fabrizio, to uphold the honor of Bologna. Fabri did his best, but the ever-flaptastic Haslam was clearly in a bigger hurry to get back to his motorhome (Google: Olivia Stringer) and forced Fabrizio to settle for 3rd. AMA stand-in, Blake Young, put in a good ride to finish in 15th. Fairly impressive considering that he was just on vacation with Kevin Scwantz when he got the call to duty.

Spies

Haslam and Fabrizio

Spies now sits just 14 points behind Haga with 5 rounds (14 races) to go. Velly intellesting. Next stop...Brno.

Race 1

1) Spies - Yamaha

2) Biaggi - Aprilia

3) Haga - Ducati

Race 2

1) Spies - Yamaha

2) Haslam - Honda

3) Fabrizio - Ducati

Even in Europe, water bottles are the preferred vodka-smuggling conainers.

T...out.

Sunday

Jeremy and I hooked up to go motorsickle riding...our plan was to make our way to Waukee to visit Miller's grave. Three gravel roads and one exploded fork seal later, we made it. The roads in Dallas county are very...um...not curvy.

By far, the coolest gravestone in the yard.

We had a memorial sidewalk tile placed on the sidewalk near the Corkscrew at Laguna Seca Raceway in Monterey, California. This is a replica of said tile.

The etching on gravestone is from an actual picture of Miller. I think it was taken at Eddyville Raceway.

MotoGP Assen

So...the MotoGP posse rolled into Assen with Rossi, Stoner, and Lorenzo all tied at the top of the championship with 106 points each. Whatever happens, we'll have a new championship leader in 26 laps...assuming all three riders don't crash out, or whatever.

Lights out and Pedrosa hit the front into turn 1 followed by Rossi and Stoner. Lorenzo got a crap start from second on the grid and spent the first few corners back in around 6th. Stoner picked off Rossi and Pedrosa at the and of the back straight to move to the front. A few corners later, Stoner runs really fucking wide and lets Rossi through to the front. 1 lap...3 different leaders...sweet. Meanwhile, Lorenzo got his shit together and latched on to the back of the leading 3 riders. Vermeulen was having a good ride 'up' in 5th position...must be contract time. The real party was the battle for 6th spot. Homeslice Hayden lead the group, and for once, was looking comfortable. Ducati must've finally dropped that extra 20-spot for new handgrips. Maybe a carbon-look yoke cover might put him in the top 5...someone get Lockhart Phillips on the line.

A few laps later, Lorenzo moves past Pedrobot into 3rd spot. Pedro tries to get the spot back, but can't hang with Lorenzo's pace and tosses his Honda into the grass. Cut to shot of a rather disappointed Puig...Gold! Two corners later, Lorenzo kills Stoner on the brakes and moves into the first loser spot. Where's Rossi? About 1/2 hour in front of Lorenzo. The top 3 would remain the same to the end.

While the top 3 toodled around, the 'battle for 6th spot' party was still a raging kegger. Toseland, Kallio, Hayden, De Puniet, De Angelis, Capirossi, and Melandri (sort of)all took turns at the front of this group. Kallio looked to be the Fin to beat until slid off in the last long left-hander and ground his pinky off in the process. Toseland got the better of the group followed by De Puniet and Hayden. Edwards and Vermeulen took a lonely 4th and 5th respectively.

So...Rossi won his 100th GP and, of course, had to celebrate. On the cool down lap, his fanboys brought out a giant poster-thingy which pictured all 99 of his previous victories. I was hoping for something more along the lines of Rossi doing 100 push-ups, doing 100 shots of whiskey, or just giving everyone in the crowd 100 Euros.

Race Result:

1) Rossi - Yamaha

2) Lorenzo - Yamaha

3) Stoner - Ducati

4) Edwards - Yamaha

5) Vermeulen - Suzuki

6) Toseland - Yamaha

7) De Puniet - Honda

8) Hayden - Ducati

9) Capirossi - Suzuki

10) De Angelis - Honda

11) Melandri - Hayasaki

12) Elias - Honda

13) Gibernau - Ducati

14) Canepa - Ducati

15) Takahashi - Honda

16) Talmacsi - Honda

Fail Boat

Pedrosa - Honda

Dovizioso - Honda

Kallio - Ducati

Next weekend...Laguna Seca.

T...out.

Qualifying - Moto GP @ Assen

Valentino Rossi will start the Assen MotoGP race from pole position. If Rossi managed to convert pole to win, it will be his 100th GP win. Not too shabby. More importantly; Rossi, Lorenzo, and Stoner are tied at the top of the championship with 106 points each going into this race. Don't forget...the race actually happens Saturday (tomorrow), but won't be broadcast here in the states until Sunday. I won't post any race results until then.Scroll down for a handy-dandy television schedule.

Qualifying Results

1) Rossi-Yamaha

2) Pedrosa-Honda

3) Lorenzo-Yamaha

4) Stoner-Ducati

5) Edwards-Yamaha

6) Capirossi-Suzuki

7) Vermeulen-Suzuki

8) Dovizioso-Honda

9) Toseland-Yamaha

10) De Puniet-Honda

11) De Angelis-Honda

12) Kallio-Ducati

13) Hayden-Ducati

14) Melandri-Hayate

15) Elias-Honda

16) Gibernau-Ducati

17) Canepa-Ducati

18) Takahashi-Honda

19) Talmasci-Honda

-->TV Party This Sunday!<--

2pm CST World SBK Race 1 Donington Park

3pm CST World SBK Race 2 Donington Park

4pm CST 250GP Assen

5pm CST MotoGP Assen

World Superbike Misano (that's in Italy, ya know.)

Seeing as the MotoGP posse had the weekend off, God took the opportunity to divert his 'piss down' attentions to the World Superbike races @ Misano. Qualifying came and went, with Jakob 'vowels are for the weak' Smrz landing his Dcti on pole, followed by Rea, Speez, and Fabrizio. Up to this point, Ben Spies has started from pole at every round. Even with Spies' double win last time out here in the U.S. of A., Haga still holds a 48 point lead over Spies in the championship. Will Spies close the points-gap on Haga? Will Smrz parlay his pole into a win or two? Will AMA homeslice Jamie Hacking crack the top ten? Will I actually be able to post this using my poop-slow antique laptop? Stay tuned...

Race 1 was declared a 'wet race'. Britain's Shakey Byrne took his milk-sponsored Ducati into the lead into turn 1. At one point, Bryne had a 15 second lead over Xaus in 2nd and (gasp!)Hacking in 3rd. About 12 laps into the 24 lap race (a.k.a. half way), the track started to dry, and bike-swaps ensued. Spies was one of the first to switch which allowed him a few laps to get his slicks up to temp. By the time the rest of the field (except Hacking*) had switched to dry tires, Spies was already up to a dry race pace. Watching him blitz everyone and take an 8 second win was actually pretty comical. Byrne brought his private Duck home in 2nd followed by the factory Duck of Fabrizio (who just held of Mr. No-vowels)in third.

*Hacking's team put in the time, money, and effort to prepare a bike and get him across the pond to ride it, but failed inform him of the 'wet race' tire rules. Oops.

Race 1 1) Spies 2) Bryne 3) Fabrizio

Rossi was in the house...bored with MotoGP?

Race 2...Dry race. Off the line, Fabrizio gets the jump followed by Britain's Johnny Rea (Ten Kate Honda) and some dude named Haga. Spies settled in behind Haga in 4th...for the time being. About 2 laps in, it was obvious that all was not well in the land of Spies. After being easily passed by 4 or 5 riders, threw up the S.O.S. hand. After a few laps of cruising around, Spies seemed to be back up to speed and picking off riders left and right. It turns out his clutch was fried.

Said Spies; “The clutch was just fried. I couldn't accelerate at all. It was slipping so bad I just had to baby it out of the turns. Then I adjusted the hell out of it for several laps, trying anything to make it work. It was difficult trying to race and work on the bike at the same time. At one point I came up on Nakano and Kagayama and I couldn't get around them because the clutch kept slipping on me every time I came out of a corner. I tried to change my riding style by going in late on the brakes, but it was useless. After the clutch finally came in I was able to turn in some good laps. I think I turned my best lap with two or three to go. I just wish it [the clutch] would have come in earlier. I know I could have done a lot better.”

The race up front was pretty much a 3-way battle between Fabrizio, Rea, and Haga. With Fabrizio and Rea beating the shit out each other for the win and Spies struggling to for a top ten position, Haga chose to play it cool safe and bring it home in a safe 3rd place. Rea put a rather bold inside move on Fabrizio, and was just able to hang on for his first World Superbike win. Poleman Smrz again took 4th. He'll be on a factory bike next year. Spies managed to clutch it home in 9th spot. As for Hacking...21st. He'll get one more chance at Donington.

Race 2 1) Rea 2) Fabrizio 3) Haga

Even with his trainwreck race 2, Spies managed to take 5 points out of Haga's championship lead. Fabrizio's 2 podiums keep him in contention in 3rd overall.

Top ten points after 8 of 14 rounds

1) Haga 292

2) Spies 244

3) Fabrizio 237

4) Rea 167

5) Biaggi 135

6) Haslam 134

7) Sykes 130

8) Checa 109

9) Smrz 108

10)Kiyonari 98

Next weekend, it's off to Donington Park in dreary old Great Britain. All of the usual suspects will be there. In addition, AMA Superbike rookie, Blake Young, has been drafted in for the injured Max Newkerschner on the Alstare Suzuki. Young and Hacking will duke it out for the honor of '2nd best American'.

T...out

MotoGP Cat-uh-loon-ya

'Holy shit!' ...I must've said this more than a dozen times during the last 3 laps of this race. The 90,000 fans that packed the Barcelona circuit definitely got their Euros-worth as Rossi and Spanish homeboy Jorge Lorenzo, more or less, beat the shit out of each other with Rossi crossing the line 9/100 of a second in front of Lorenzo. With this win, Rossi took his 99th MotoGP win over the number 99 of Lorenzo...did I hear a 'niner' in there?

As far as the actual race...Polesitter Lorenzo got the holeshot followed by Rossi, Stoner, and everyone else. For the first few laps, everyone held station, with the exception of Takahashi, who fired his Honda into an airfence on the first lap. While all this was going, little Jorge managed to open a small gap over Rossi and company.

At this point I think it's going to be another boring race and check to see if 'House' is on. Nope. Back to the race.

Stoner looked to be on the same pace as the leaders for the first half of the race, but eventually dropped off and barely held off Dovisioso for the final podium spot. Stoner had been struggling with the flu all weekend, and you could tell by the way he wobbled up to the podium, that this race really kicked his ass.

22 laps to go...Rossi draws first blood by killing Lorenzo on the brakes taking the lead at the end of the start/finish. Point: Rossi

16 laps to go...Apparently, the last time someone made a last-lap pass for the win in MotoGP was back 2006 in @ Portugal. Spaniard Tony Elias was man who stuffed Rossi for this honor. Here in 2009, Elias also took the honor of being the only rider to crash out (with 22 laps to go) of the Catalan GP race. Nice work, amigo. Donned in their 'throwback' orange jumpsuits, Slipknot ran out(Sid changed his number from '0' to 'Medic') and helped Elias up a step stool and onto his bike. He putted back to his pitbox, yelled at his girlfriend, and took a nap.

13 laps to go...Same as it ever was.

12 laps to go...Lorenzo repays the favor on the brakes and attempts to break away. Point: Lorenzo

3 laps to go...After following Lorenzo around for the last few laps, Rossi decides it's time to go, and, once again, kills Lorenzo on the brakes at the end of the start/finish straight to take the lead. Point: Rossi

2 laps to go...Lorenzo gets the drive out of the final corner and drafts past Rossi...only to have Rossi out-brake him and go around the outside into turn 1 for the lead. Balls.

Rast rap...Lorenzo take rossi on the brakes to lead into the final lap. Lorenzo hangs on to the lead for most of the last lap. Thay's all fine and dandy until Rossi completely stuffs him at the last corner to take the win. Game, Set, Match: Rossi.

Stateside...Colin Edwards finished in his usual 'somewhere between 5th and 10th' with a solid 7th. Homeboy Hayden finally cracked the top ten on his Duck. According to Hayden, the Duck keepers changed 'everything but the handle grips' to better suit him. Just think how much farther up the order he would have finished if only they'd dropped that extra 20-spot on new grips.

Race Result:
1) Rossi Yamaha
2) Lorenzo Yamaha
3) Stoner Ducati
4) Dovisioso Honda
5) Capirossi Suzuki
6) Pedrosa Honda
7) Edwards Yamaha
8) De Puniet Honda
9) Kallio Ducati
10) Hayden Ducati
11) Vermeulen Suzuki
12) De Angelis Honda
12) Toseland Yamaha
14) Melandri Hayate
15) Gibernau Ducati
16) Canepa Ducati
17) Talmasci Honda

Failboat:

Takahashi Honda
Elias Honda

Next stop...Assen.

T...out

The most famouserest Deathstar

My main man, Mr. Matt (clear like the crystal) Moore swung by to watch the NBA finals this evening. Eventually, he bailed to endure some Ohio-induced bachelorism. This left the ever-hot Red Dawn and myself to watch SpeedTV's tape-delayed coverage of the race we attended last weekend up thar in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin.

Anywho...Red spotted the Deathstar on the TV, so I figured I'd share.

Take a gander...

The Chezpicks

Gearing up for getting down.

Suspect Beaver.

G.T.'s enthusiasm knows no bounds.

Blah

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Blah Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Due credit to these ladies and their respective milkshakes...the fellas were, in fact, in the yard.

R.I.P. Nina Bean

Our furry little homegirl, Nina, expired yesterday morning. Nina is survived by the people that filled her food bowl on a daily basis. Nina's interests included eating Fritos and chewing on electrical cords. In addition, Nina was also a very accomplished pooper...she could produce a small pile of 'Coco Puffs' on a moment's notice. Impressive. Services were held in the back yard, and Camel Menthols are being accepted in lieu of flowers.

For sale: Rabbit cage...

Sudanese Smoking Team

So then...the other day as I was leaving for work, I noticed a trio of Sudanese boys/men casually strolling down our street pulling drags off of cigarettes...no biggie. A few days later, as I was getting ready to head out on a bike ride, I see, what seems to be to be, the same trio, rolling up my street in a minivan. They park at the end of the block (I use the term 'park' loosely, because they did a crap job of it), step out, light up, and stroll down the block, puffin' away.

Being the neighborhood watchdog I am, I bide my time, and...erm...watch. They walk around the corner, cop a squat on some railroad ties, and puff their brains out. However, they smoke with a certain rigidness...somewhere along the lines of 'oh shit...if my grandmomma sees me smoking, she'll beat me with a yardstick.' They look so 'hard', yet scared to death. I have seen these guys stroll/smoking up and down my street no less than 10 times in the last month. It's funny...just thought I'd share.

Utah World Superbike...pack a wife or three.

Whether it be race-wins or wives, Utah is the land of the 'multiple'. Welcome to Miller Motorsports Park in scenic Tooele, Utah.

Haga came into this round with an 80ish point lead over WSBK rookie Ben's Pies. Haga's comfy championship lead is partially due to the fact that The Ben has had some bad luck lately, including a broken gear changer and running out of fuel...both of which cost him wins. Bummer, dude. Spies made it known that, in Utah, anything less than pole position and a double-win just wouldn't make the scene. Spies went ahead and took pole...again. Spies has scored the pole at every round, so far, this year...breaking Doug Polen's previous record of 6 consecutive poles set back in 1990-something or other. The AMA's own Jamie Hacking was filling in for the rarely-uninjured Makoto Tamada on the Paul Bird Kawasaki. Hacker did good to put the green Kwak up in 7th on the starting grid...by far Kawasaki's best qualifying effort in recent memory. Zemke was also there on the Stiggy Honda qualifying somewhere down in 20-something land. Points leader Haga pretty much has a hate/hate relationship with Miller Motorsports Park. Last year, lobbed it in race 1 and broke his collarbone in the process. This year, he highsided himself into the mountains during practice, but still managed to make the 9th on the grid.

Race 1...lights out and Spies immediately hit the front as the whole crew railed into turn one. Haga Bonzai'd his way up to third from 9th on the grid. Hacking was also moving forward as he put some rather impressive moves on the WSBK regulars. Hacking made his way up to 4th before the...that's right...red flag. Aussie Karl Muggeridge had a little 'oopsie' which left him and his bike stranded on the racing line. OK..restart. Spies, again, hits the front and sets sail for the top step of the podium. Carlos Checa, last year's double race winner, brought his Honda home in the first loser's spot. Ducati's Fabrizio rounded out the podium on his...err...Ducati. AMA homeboy Jamie Hacking wrapped things up in 7th spot...not too shabby. Word on the street is that he is actively seeking a fulltime WSBK ride. I'm sure the Euro-Kawasaki squad would welcome him, his hot wife, and bulldogs with open arms.

Race 2...SpeedTV's resident should-be NFL commentator, Ralph Sheheen informed me that when the lights go out, that I should 'Watch out! these guys will be really going for it!'. Thanks, Ralph. I was truly worried that the WSBK boys might just hang out on the grid, play quarters, and make fart jokes. Apparently, Spies doesn't know any fart jokes, because he opted to get the holeshot, lead every lap, set lap record after lap record, and win the race. That is pretty much the jist of race 2. As the race went on, Checa crashed out of 2nd place (par for the course), and Fabrizio was the only rider able to keep Ben and his Pies within spitting distance. At one point, Fabrizio got within 1.5 seconds of Spies. In return, Spies utilized the 6th gear on his 'R' series Yamaha and finished the race with a gap of 9+ seconds. The two British riders Johnny Rea and the ever-flaptastic Leon Haslam went back and forth for the final spot on the podium. Haslam chucked his Honda into the dirt, and Rea went on to spray Champagne. Haga lost points ti Spies, but is still 53 points ahead with 7 rounds (14 races) to go.

Result:

Race 1

1) Ben Spies-Yamaha

2) Carlos Checa-Honda

3) Michel Fabrizio-Ducati

Race 2

1) Ben Spies-Yamaha

2) Michel Fabrizio-Ducati

3) Johnny Rea-Honda

Next stop...San Marino.

T...out.

MotoGP @ Moo-Jello

The proof's in the pudding...God hates MotoGP. Once again, at Mugello, The Lord's tinkle made for another 'wet race'. In MotoGP land, if a race is declared 'wet', the race will be run 'flag-to-flag'...the riders have the option of coming in to change bikes (the second bike must be on different tires) depending on track conditions. In this case, the race started on a damp track that was quickly drying.

So then, on the warm-up lap, Spanish pole-sitter (that never gets old) Lorenzo managed to toss his Yamaha into the soggy gravel. He remounted, pitted, grabbed his spare bike, and took his position on the grid. Cut to the TV shot of one of Lorenzo's mechanics toweling the mud and gravel off of his bum...only in Italy (and the rest of Europe, I suppose).

Anyway...lights out...Lorenzo's start was even crappier than his warm-up lap. Pedrosa got the holeshot from 8th on the grid, followed by Vermeulen and Dovizioso. Rossi, who has won the last 8 races at Moo-Jello, was a ways back in 4th followed by Melandri on the Dorna-sponsored Hayasaki. Homeboy Rossi and Melandri made their way to front, with Melandri actually leading a few laps...meanwhile, Kawasaki introduces a 'totally extreme' new water scooter.

Lap 10, and bike changes ensue...Toseland is the first in and out on slick tires. Melandri, Rossi, Stoner, and Dovi soon followed. After all the hubbub of bike changes, normal service resumed with Dovi at the front followed by Stoner. Stoner went forward, Dovi went backwards, and the Lorenzo/Rossi Yama-train came through. Stoner held on for the win, which caused the Eyetalian fans to go into a frenzy of hugging and cheek kissing. Whether it's a bike, rider, or a loaf of Focaccia bread...as long as it's Italian and crosses the finish line first, The I.T.'s will go bananas. Stoner's win put him back at the top of the championship, followed by Lorenzo, Rossi, and everyone else.

Other stuff...Nicky Hayden rocketed to a 12th place finish...will the Kentucky Kid ever catch a break? On the Duc...methinks not. Pedrosa tipped over on lap 13 and re-re-re injured his little leg bone or something.

Result:

1. Casey Stoner-Ducati

2. Jorge Lorenzo-Yamaha

3. Valentino Rossi-Yamaha

4. Andrea Dovizioso-Honda

5. Loris Capirossi-Suzuki

6. Colin Edwards-Yamaha

7. James Toseland-Yamama

8. Randy de Puniet-Honda

9. Niccolo Canepa-Ducati

10. Chris Vermeulen-Suzuki

11. Marco Melandri-Hayate

12. Nicky Hayden-Ducati

13. Mika Kallio-Ducati

14. Toni Elias-Honda

15. Alex de Angelis-Honda

Fail:

Dani Pedrosa-Honda

Yuki Takahashi-Same as Pedrosa

Next stop...Spain (again). T...out.