Miguel of the Sizzles.

Happy 'fizzle-free' 40th!

New Ride

2009 Diamondback Insight 2...I didn't realize my 'hood was so hilly.

Proper.

I know this is a repost, but in the world of live rock shows, this is as proper as gets. fuckin' christ.

They bless the rains down in Afrikkka

This weekend, the World Superbike posse rolled (actually, they flew) into the Kyalami circuit in Johannesburg, South Africa (new and improved with 50% less Apartheid). Coming into this round, Haga enjoyed a comfortable 50ish point lead in the championship over Texas' Ben Spies. Haga's teammate 'Michelle' Fabrizio sat a few points behind Ben's Pies in third. So then, qualifying came and went, and Spies managed to grab his 6th pole of the year...and that whole sentence sounded really gay. Michelle, Bad Max, and Haga rounded out the front row. Neato. So then...on to race 1. Haga got the holeshot into turn 1, while Spies (again) forcefully stuffed Bad Max to take second. While Haga gapped the field, Michelle dove up the inside of Spies to take over second positione'. On lap 3, Michelle took over the lead from Haga. The top 3 held station for quite a few laps while. Further back in the field, Xaus confirmed that the South African gravel traps are up to spec. Good to know. Sweet...I could save up to $1500 on a Kawasaki motorcycle, ATV, or jet ski, and that Progressive Insurance chick would be much hotter if she wouldn't talk so much (or at all). The rest of the race was fairly uneventful. Haga eventually reeled Michelle back in and took over the lead. Spies gave his pony a few extra whips, and put a nice inside move on Michelle out of the final corner to take over second place, only to have a pucker-moment the next lap which almost tossed his ass over the bars and back to Texas. This allowed Michelle back into the second spot. Haga went on to win, with Michelle second and Spies third. Game, set, match. Race 2...once again, Haga-san gets the whore-shot with Spies in tow. Spies wasn't fucking around as he took Haga for the lead via a sweet outside/inside move out of one of the chicanes. The Ben looked all set to check out, and even set the new lap record, when his gear shifter broke on his Yamahopper (he ran out of gas, and the lead, the last time out at Monza). Things kind of trundled along until the last lap when when Michelle attempted two very brave/desparate moves on Haga. Neither of these stuck, and Haga went on to double up with Michelle, once again, playing second fiddler. Britain's own Johnny Rea scored his first WSBK podium aboard the Ten Kate CBR1000RRRRRRR. Spies goose-egged race 2, and probably flew back to Texas to shoot small animals. Next up? Gas up the Winnebago, throw the Hog on a trailer, crack open some Bud Lights, and make your way to Miller Motorsports Park here in the The U.S. of A. for the 7th round of the WSBK championship.

Monza WSBK

Race 1...The first corner @ Monza is too tight for wheelchair races at the old-folks shack, let alone a World Superbike race...hence the carnage (click on the pic). Newkershner is out with a broken leg, Corser with a contused lower something-or-other, and a few other dudes with various bumps and scrapes...nothing a few Flintstones vitamins and a bowl of Wheaties can't fix. So then...race one was a decent scrap between Spies, Haga, and Fabrizio. Spies led most of the laps, until Fabrizio managed to draft past Spies on the long front straight...while throwing some mocking gesture at Spies in the process. Mistake. Fabrizio must not have gotten the 'Don't Fuck With Texas' memo, or watched an NBA game where some fresh-outta highschool Gerri-Curl taunted Michael Jordan...only to get his ankles broken via one MJ's most righteous crossovers. Spies gave his pony a few extra kicks and motored past the Bologna Bullet and set off for the Alamo. Haga was still somewhere back in third place taking in the sights as Spies set sail for yet another P1. Everything was in place for Spies to take his 5th win of the year when his Yam-Italia R1 spaceship ran out of a thing called fuel on the last corner of the last lap. This left Spies to coast (very eco-friendly) across the line in 15th place. Meanwhile, having been gifted his first WSBK win, Fabrizio pulled off to the side of the track, donned an Italian flag around his neck, and dry-humped the corner workers. Spies parked his bike along pit row, hopped the fence, and went out to shoot deer.

Race 2...After throat-punching his pit crew for their inability to convert gallons to liters, Spies dropped the hammer from the get-go, and went on to win the race by about 6 months. Championship points leader Haga got torpedoed in the arm by a bird (seriously) on the first lap, and eventually wadded his Ducati coming out of Curva Grande (that's eye-talian for 'Really Fucking Long, Fast Corner) on lap uno. Fabrizio, still chaffed from his post race 1 dry humping, fucked around and finished 3rd.

Next up...Kyalami in Sarf Africa. Spies has tested there, and barring a crash or bad fuel math, he's on for the double.

Oh yeah...I'm in a band called The Chezwicks, and we're playing at a bar called the Vaudeville Mews on June 13th with some other band called Squidboy and an Omaha band known as the Filter Kings.