MotoGP ~ Le Mans ~ The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly In France

I'd like to welcome both of my three followers back to the fourth round of the 2013 MotoGP world championship at Le Mans, which according to Mapquest, is in France. Last time out, at Jerez, lil' Dani Pedrosa took a comfortable win, making him the third different winner in as many races. That wasn't the top story, though. The big 'to-do' out of Jerez was Marc Marquez punting Jorge Lorenzo off track in the final corner of the last lap. As a result of his shenanigans, Marky Marquez bagged second place in the race, and the lead in the championship points. Lorenzo managed third in the race, and epitomized the phrase 'butthurt', in the process.

So here we are at soggy-assed Le Mans.

As usual, for a MotoGP weekend in France, the weather suited the indigenious amphibian populaton with a fruity mix of rain, dry, kinda rainy then dry, and dryish rainy conditions. After the three practice sessions, the usual suspects were given a 'pass' into QP2, while the rest of the 'drivers' (c. Ralph Sheheen, 2013) duked it out in QP1. At the end of the first QP session, it was Aleix Espargaro and France's Randy DePuniet who were crowned the 'best of the rest', and advanced to the QP2 'Showcase Showdown'. QP2 was a little more dryish than wettish, and a the end of the session, it was Spain's Marc Marquez who was the closest without going over. For his efforts, Marquez was rewarded with a waverunner, a pair of 4-wheelers, a pop-up camper, and pole position. Runner-up Jorge Lorenzo went home with a dinette set, a Broyhill recliner, a set of steak kinives, and second place on the grid. Dani Pedrosa was happy to accept some handsome parting gifts and rounded out the front row in third position. Everyone else went home to spay or neuter their pets.

Sunday, and although there are dry spots forming on track, the race is declared wet...kind of the opposite of an old man's tighty whiteys. Marquez kicks his umbrella girl, Vanna White, to the curb, the riders take their warm-up lap and re-grid, the lights go out, and away we go. An odd turn of events takes place at the moment the race starts; the Earth momentarily stops spinning on its axis, which causes poleman Marquez to drop back to someteenth place, while Ducati's (yes, you read that correctly) Andrea Dovizioso takes the holeshot and leads everyone into the first corner...followed by Lorenzo and Pedrosa. Behind them, it's Bradl, Rossi, Hayden, and Crutchlow. At the end of the first lap Dovizioso has actually put a gap (I'm for serious) on the field, while Pedrosa has gone past Lorenzo for second.

A few laps later, Dovizioso's two-lap wet dream comes to an end as Pedrosa overhauls him for the lead and scampers off for the win. Meanwhile...Rossi, Crutchlow, and Hayden are closing on podium spots while Lorenzo, bogged down by the weight of his newly acquired Boyhill recliner which is bungee'd to his tail section, is dropping way back in the pack. What about poleman Marquez? After shitting the bed on the start, he's back on the case, up to seventh behind Bradl, and motoring.

In front of them, Hayden is pressuring Rossi for fourth. Rossi finally succumbs to Hayden's tomfoolery and beaches his Yamaha. Hayden's podium challenge ended as he was forced to avoid Rossi's yellow and blue yardsale...losing a lot of time in the process. Bummer, dude. Rossi remounted and finished in twelfth. So then, Crutchlow's up to second and Marquez is on Dovi's ass, in fourth, with three to go.

Two laps to go, and Marquez gets past Dovizioso courtesy of a fuckin' sweet inside/outside move into/out of the chicane. So, Pedrosa wins it, and takes over at the front of the championship points in the process. Crutchlow takes his best-ever MotoGP result in second. Marquez keeps his podium run alive in third.

After the race, Jorge Lorenzo blamed his shitty result not on his Broyhill, but on a crap Bridgestone tire. The Bridgestone engineers investigated the situation and their conclusion was 'dude, you're high'. Methinks someone's still suffering from an advanced case of buttis hurturis.

Result;

1) Pedrosa/Honda

2) Crutchlow/Yamaha

3) Marquez/Honda

4) Dovizioso/Ducati

5) Hayden/Ducati

6) Bautista/Honda

7) Lorenzo/Broyhill

8) Pirro/Ducati

9) Smith/Ducati

10)Bradl/Honda

11)Iannone/Ducati

12)Rossi/Ducati

13)Espargaro/ART Aprilia

14)Petrucci/Suter BMW

15)Abraham/ART Aprilia

16)Edwards/FTR Kawasaki

17)Laverty/PBM Aprilia

18)Barbera/FTR Kawasaki

19)Aoyama/FTR Kawasaki

DNF)Hernandez/ART Aprilia

DNF)DePuniet/ART Aprilia

DNF)Pesek/Suter BMW

DNF)Corti/FTR Kawasaki

DNF)Staring/FTR Honda

The next stop is in Italy at Mugello. Will homeboy Rossi finally hit the top of the charts, or will the reign of Spain continue? Survey says...

This one's for Aaron.

T...out.