MotoGP San Marino

Round 13 of the 2012 MotoGP world championship brings the crew to the recently renamed Misano World Circuit Marco Simoncelli in the Republic of Dan Marino. The track was renamed in honor of local MotoGP star and hair-farmer, Marco Simoncelli, who who lost his life as a result of injuries sustained during the opening laps of last year's Malaysian Grand Prix.

In other news...Homeboy Hayden is back after his Indy moonshot, Honda World Superbike's Johnny Rea is in for Stoner on a Repsol Honda, and Spies finally spilled the beans that he would be on a 'factory-supported' Pramac Ducati, for 2013.

Hurry up and wait...after scurrying around to get their trucks unloaded, pit boxes assembled, and bikes set up in time for Friday's first practice session, the rain fell mainly in San Marino. Only a handful of riders went out in either of the day's free practice sessions, and accomplished a whole lotta nothing. Everyone else just loafed around in the paddock doing what/whoever. Water scares them almost as much as being away from their iPhones and white sunglasses for any amount of time.

No time for cartoons, on Saturday, as the boys need to get their shit together and figure out what color of power bands work best around the MWCMS. The first session, on Saturday was wet-n-patchy, which had most of the riders going with the more conservative-colored power bands. Blue, purple, and olive green seemed to work the best as they tenderfooted around in the wet-to-drying conditions.

By the time Saturday afternoon's qualifying session rolled around, the track was dry, the sun was shining, and it was time to uncork the power of the preferred colors...fire engine red, neon orange, and bedazzled glitterchroma. With that rainbow party out of the way, we have Pedro on pole, JLo in second, and Calvin Crutchlow in third. The second row was Bradl, Bautista, and Rossi. The Ben Spies was the top Yank in eighth, and everyone else blah blah blah...so on and so forth,

So with the clusterfuck that was practice and qualifying out of the way, I was sure we can count on a hassle-free, smoothly-executed race, right? Negative Ghostrider. On the starting grid, daddy's boy Abraham managed to stall his Ducati just as the red lights were about to go out. The yellow flags came out, the red lights turned to blinky amber lamps, and about half the grid launched from their grid spots...somehow, no one got ass-packed.

Grid up, part deaux...the riders are waiting to do another warm up lap when Pedrosa's crew suddenly wheel his Honda off the grid and back behind pitwall. It turns out the well-oiled machine that is Pedrosa's crew managed to get his tire warmer caught in the brakes. They finally figured their shit out and send Pedro out on his sighting lap, from pit lane. Pedro barely makes the grid, having to draft the pace car just to get there. Since his bike had to be wheeled off the grid and into the pits, Polesitter Pedro is forced to start from last on the grid. Brutal.

Lights out....finally. JLo gets away with the holeshot, with Rossi (gasp!) in second, and Bradl barging his way into third. From last on the grid, Pedrosa gets up to twelfth, but that doesn't matter, because a few corners later, Hectic Hector Barbera mumbles something about Estoril 2006, and uses his Pramac Ducati to torpedo Pedro...sending the wee-Spaniard tumbleweeding into the gravel. No es bueno.

Up front, JLo's going away...guess who wins? Rossi and his shiny red shopping cart are looking solid and fast, as opposed to earlier this season (and all of 2011) when they looked more tentative than a senior citizen trying walk down a sidewalk after an icestorm. Behind Rossi was Bradl in a solid third, with the Tech 3-skateers, Crutchlow and Dovi, playing grab ass in fourth and fifth. Cancel that...Crutchlow just hit the deck. The Spies is now in fifth with Bautista closing fast, in sixth.

Bautista finally gets past Spies and quickly starts to reel in Dovi. Within a few laps, Bautista is on Dovi's ass (not in a gay way), and is looking threatening (not in a rapey way). Bradl's in front of the both of them, but is dropping fast. Bautista makes quick work of Dovi and proceeds to latch on to the rear of Bradl (OK...that one's questionable). At this point Bautista, Bradl, and Dovi are scrapping it out for the bottom position...err...step...on the podium. Bautista's looking comfortable as he tops this battle for the bottom spot on the podium. Dovi starts to push hard, and gets right on the tailpipe of Bautista, but Bautista pushes harder and finishes just .003 of a second before Dovi. Towel, please.

Rossi bags a solid second, and his first dry podium on a Ducati since the dawn of time. Is a win out of the question before he re-jumps ship to Yamaha?

JLo cruised home to a, pretty much, flawless 23rd win of the season. With Stoner gone at the end of the year, and JLo back with Yamaha, 2013 could be a bit of a snoozer. Then again, we have Moto2 nutcases Marq Marquez and Andrea Iannone moving up to the big boy class. They might hurt a few people's feelings...I hope.

Did Good:

1)Lorenzo / Yamaha Factory Racing

2)Rossi / Ducati Team

3)Bautista / San Carlo Honda Gresini

4)Dovizioso / Monster Yamaha Tech 3

5)Spies / Yamaha Factory Racing

6)Bradl / LCR Honda MotoGP

7)Hayden / Ducati Team

8)Rea / Stoner's Bike

9)De Puniet / Power Electronics Aspar

10)Pirro / San Carlo Honda Gresini

11)Edwards / NGM Forward Racing

12)Hernandez / COL Avintia Blusens

13)Ellison / Paul Bird Motorsport

14)Petrucci / Came Ioda Racing

15)Salom / Avintia Blusens

Did Not:

DNF)Espargaro / Power Electronics Aspar

DNF)Crutchlow / Monster Yamaha Tech 3

DNF)Pasini / Speed Master

DNF)Barbera / Pramac Racing

DNF)Pedrosa / Repsol Honda

DNF)Abraham / Cardion AB Motoracing

JLo has left the building with a grown up-sized 38 point lead over Pedro. Stoner and his jacked-up ankle are still in with a mathematical chance, but sit a hefty 84 points behind JLo, with five rounds to go. The next stop is September 30th (a.k.a. my birthday) at the Aragon circuit near Alcañiz, Spain. Send me gifts.

T...Out.

*Pictures from www.cycleworld.com, www.mcnews.com.au, and www.topsportracing.com