The German-engineered Moto GP der Doucheland.

So here we are, half way through the 2009 MotoGP season, at the Sachenring Curcuit for round der nuente...Achtung!

As it has a habit of doing, qualifying came and went. Homeboy Hayden started from a season-best 4th. The front row consisted of Stoner in 3rd, Spaceman Lorenzo, and Rossi on pole. Rossi's fast lap during the wettish qualifying session was absolutely bananas!

The big hubbub leading up to this race was that Yamaha's Lorenzo has been in talks with Repsol Honda. Apparently he wants to be the 'number 1' rider on a factory team. Considering his current teammate is one V. Rossi, I don't see Lorenzo becoming the top dude @ Yamaha unless he can beat Rossi on a regular basis and win the title. My crystal ball says 'nope'.

Enough about that...the riders grid up, the vendors sell their last Bratkartoffeln, the lights go out, and the blitzkrieg is on. Rossi slots in at the top of charts, followed by Dani Ponderosa, De Puniet, and Stonah. Lorenzo got a crap start and was stuck behind De Angelis' pride flag in 6th. Hayden? He got a good start, and looked really good for the first 30 yards, or so, until he got shoved out wide by...well...pretty much everyone. Once he got his shit together, he found himself in around 9th. Tough break, kid. Playboy Du Puniet was the first to hit the deck courtesy of a second-rate highside. Hasta next weeko, Randy. Looking back to Hayden, he was clearly pissed about his his start and his riding was showing it...he went around the outside of Kallio and Capirossi coming out of the ridiculously fast downhill right-hander. Balls.

25 to go...Stoner barges past both Ponderosa and that Rossi dude to take the lead. So now it's Stoner, Rossi, Ponderosa, and Lorenzo all bunched up at the front. Game on. It's obvious that Lorenzo has his eyes on the big piece of chicken as he murders Ponderosa on the brakes at the bottom of the hill to take 3rd place.

Fast forward a few laps...Rossi get past Stoner for the lead , while Lorenzo and Ponderosa move up into 2nd and 3rd. Lorenzo is now right on the ass end of the big piece of chicken and has his knife and fork set to 'stun'. With 5 to go, Lorenzo finally pulls the trigger and outbrakes Rossi and the end of the front straight to take the lead. 2 to go, and Rossi returns the favor at the same spot. Last lap, and Rossi is still at the front...just barely. Lorenzo looked like he might have something for Rossi at the last corner, but no dice. Rossi takes the big piece of chicken by 99/1000 of a second (seriously) over Lorenzo and his side of slaw. Ponderosa cruised home in 3rd to collect a wet-nap and a small (big to him) 7up

Result:

1) Rossi - YaMAka

2) Lorenzo - Yamaha

3) Pedrosa - Honda

4) Stoner - Ducati

5) De Angelis - Honda

6) Elias - Honda

7) Melandri - Hayate

8) Hayden - Ducati

9) Edwards - Yamaha

10) Toseland - Yamaha

11) Capirossi - Suzuki

12) Canepa - Ducati

13) Vermeulen - Suzuki

14) Kallio - Ducati

15) Talmacsi - Honda

Failboat;

De Puniet

Dovizioso

Next stop...Donington Park in the G.B...bring a raincoat.

T...out.