Monza WSBK

Race 1...The first corner @ Monza is too tight for wheelchair races at the old-folks shack, let alone a World Superbike race...hence the carnage (click on the pic). Newkershner is out with a broken leg, Corser with a contused lower something-or-other, and a few other dudes with various bumps and scrapes...nothing a few Flintstones vitamins and a bowl of Wheaties can't fix. So then...race one was a decent scrap between Spies, Haga, and Fabrizio. Spies led most of the laps, until Fabrizio managed to draft past Spies on the long front straight...while throwing some mocking gesture at Spies in the process. Mistake. Fabrizio must not have gotten the 'Don't Fuck With Texas' memo, or watched an NBA game where some fresh-outta highschool Gerri-Curl taunted Michael Jordan...only to get his ankles broken via one MJ's most righteous crossovers. Spies gave his pony a few extra kicks and motored past the Bologna Bullet and set off for the Alamo. Haga was still somewhere back in third place taking in the sights as Spies set sail for yet another P1. Everything was in place for Spies to take his 5th win of the year when his Yam-Italia R1 spaceship ran out of a thing called fuel on the last corner of the last lap. This left Spies to coast (very eco-friendly) across the line in 15th place. Meanwhile, having been gifted his first WSBK win, Fabrizio pulled off to the side of the track, donned an Italian flag around his neck, and dry-humped the corner workers. Spies parked his bike along pit row, hopped the fence, and went out to shoot deer.

Race 2...After throat-punching his pit crew for their inability to convert gallons to liters, Spies dropped the hammer from the get-go, and went on to win the race by about 6 months. Championship points leader Haga got torpedoed in the arm by a bird (seriously) on the first lap, and eventually wadded his Ducati coming out of Curva Grande (that's eye-talian for 'Really Fucking Long, Fast Corner) on lap uno. Fabrizio, still chaffed from his post race 1 dry humping, fucked around and finished 3rd.

Next up...Kyalami in Sarf Africa. Spies has tested there, and barring a crash or bad fuel math, he's on for the double.

Oh yeah...I'm in a band called The Chezwicks, and we're playing at a bar called the Vaudeville Mews on June 13th with some other band called Squidboy and an Omaha band known as the Filter Kings.