Hi folks! It's time once again to leave the Harley on the front porch, salute the star spangled flag in honour of Uncle Buzz Aldrin and sit back in a Louisiana recline as I fire over a few southpaw liberty loving haymakers at city hall and present to you the only race preview you can trust - Randy MamolaTM Official MotoGP big up of the Grand Prix of Iraq
Well with the US army of justice recently and successfully neutralising the threat of a hotdog strike out in the oilfields of Iraq it's without fear that Uncle Randy will open up his pit lane boulevard of Justice for round 1 of the MotoGP season.
Now I'm not sure if we've bombed this place of late but if we have, and for sure I'm sure we will have, it's worked wonders in hoop-shotting the democratically instigated constitution. Everywhere you look you can't see foreigners and for me alone, along with all my brave brothers in arms, this is what makes a foreign country less foreign and for sure more great.
This year MotoGP bigwigs have decided to run the MotoGP race at night. Whilst European readers maybe astonished by such revolutionary thinking might I point out that Baseball, NASCAR and going to the Drive-in movie at about 7-7.30 are all American ideas and yes - all at night.
So who do I, R.Mamola esq, think will be sipping the sweet Florida juice spoils first in the victory lane sidewalk? Well on one hand, we have Hayden who already has one hand on the trophy. But the other hand, on the other hand, we have say Hoppers who singled handily also has one hand, arguably either hand, handing the trophy to himself. But obviously the third hand, on the other hand of the other hand, states that either hand of Edwards has a fair hand in being handed the title to either hand and that any of the three hands, be it a handed hand or a hand that's singled handily handed to the hand of the hand, will be handing back the trophy to into the hands of the USA.
With the American riders more likely than ever to excel in their sophomore year I feel that the battle for 4th place will be a keen and rather boring contest won by which ever rider gets in front at the first bend or by a pre-decided lotto held in pit lane that fixes race positions and guarantees the following 'Thorny for Europe' issues:
(a) No rider may pass another rider unless the manoeuvre has been approved in writing by the race director three working days prior to the event
(ii) No rider may switch off the traction control setting from the factory default European 'front-pushing-wears-briefs-not-boxers' setting.
(3) No rider may feed the cheese to the rear and allow the rear hoop to outspin the front hoop.
It's a constitution guys that I'd never sign up to.
Randy's big race big 1-2-3 away
1st Young Nicky Hayden aka Nicky Hayden
2nd John 'Hopper' Hopkins
3rd Colin Edwards
MVP: Chocolate Brownies
Constructor: Wall Street Journal.
Okay I guess I figure that I'm guessing to figure for sure that it's time to man the gates and cast a farewell to you America Online viewers.
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