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Hola! It's round three of the 2013 MotoGP world championship from the
circuito Jerez de la Frontera, which is Spanish for 'Dude...you parked your
flying saucer on my racetrack!'. After his debut MotoGP win in Texas,
local heart throb, Marc Marquez, comes in to Jerez tied for the
championship points lead with local heart throb 2.0, Jorge Lorenzo at 41
metric points, each. That other fast Spanish guy, Dani Pedrosa, sits back
in third.
Lorenzo may be the first loser in the Spanish 'heart throb' department,
but Saturday found him celebrating his 26th birthday by taking pole
position in qualifying, and having the final corner of the track renamed in
his honor...curva de Jorge Lorenzo, or something like that. I'm sure there
was cake involved.
As for other qualifying shenanigans, Pedrosa starts from second, and
Marquez in third. In the final minutes of qualifying, both Crutchlow and
Rossi looked like they could each threaten for a front-row start, but they
both opted to put on high-speed yard sales, instead. Crutchlow fired his
Yamaha (and himself) into the airfence heading in to the final corner,
resulting in his bike landing in the cheap seats. Rossi tucked the front
into the super-speedy (and awesomely-named) Dry Sack corner. Rossi's bike
did a bunch of rollover flippy-floppies, landed in the gravel, and was
boxed up and shipped back to the Factory Yamaha garage. Homeboy Hayden managed
a decent seventh place grid position, and Edwards a
not-so-decent twentieth. Texas' Ben Spies is sitting this one out with a
jacked-up shoulder.
So, with all that out of the way, it's time to go racing. The riders
grid-up, the crowd wakes up from its pre-race siesta, the lights go out,
and Pedrosa hit the front. Much like Pedrosa himself, his time at the
front is very short, as Lorenzo takes the lead in turn 2. Marquez settles
in third, followed by Rossi, Crutchlow, and everyone else. Rossi tells
Marquez to get off his lawn and moves past him into third. A few corners
later, Marquez, who does not like being told what to do by old Italian men,
gets back past Rossi into third, and sets sail for the other two amigos, up
front.
The next handful of laps were a bit of a snoozefest. Bradl crashed, but
he's German, so even his crash was boring. Lorenzo holds station at the
front, but with Pedrosa right on his ass. Pedrosa finally went past
Lorenzo into the Dry Sack (insert Beavis and Butthead laughs here) corner
to take the lead. I'd tell you that Pedrosa went on to gap the field and
win the race, but then you'd stop reading. I wouldn't blame you.
While Pedrosa is off to maybe win the race, Marquez has caught up Lorenzo, and
the battle for second is on like Connie Chung. Rossi is still back in
lonely fourth, and the only other real action is Crutchlow and Bautista
battling for fif place. Crutchlow and Bautista swapped spit for a few
laps, until Crutchlow finally sealed the deal and cruised home in fif.
Meanwhile, Pedrosa is very much(maybe)on his way to his first win of the
season. Marquez is still honey-badgering Lorenzo for second...nearly
ass-packing him, on several occasions, in the process. Rast rap...Marquez
is on Lorenzo's case in full 'crouching tiger' stance (i.e.; waiting for
Lorenzo to fuck up). Out of the long right-hander and into the final
(Lorenzo) corner, Lorenzo leaves the door wide-open. Marquez, in an ode to
Rossi/Gibernau 2005, dive bombs up the inside of Lorenzo, punt him off the
track, and brings it home in second. Lorenzo manages to keep it upright,
and pouts across the line in third.
In Parc Ferme', Marquez tries to apologize to Lorenzo for his antics.
Lorenzo responds with a Mutumbo-styled finger wag after exploding a box of
Captain Crunch Marquez had offered up as a token of peace. So with that,
Marquez leaves 'Hereth' with the championship points lead and a face full
of Captain Crunch dust.
Result;
1) Pedrosa
2) Marquez
3) Lorenzo
4) Rossi
5) Crutchlow
6) Bautista
7) Haystack
8) Dovizioso
9) Esparago
10)Smith
11)Pirro
12)Barbera
13)Laverty
14)Petrucci
15)Edwards
16)Staring
17)Corti
18)Aoyama
DNF)Bradl/crash
DNF)Iannone/mechanical
DNF)Pesek/mechanical
DNF)DePuniet/crash
DNF)Hernandez/crash
The next round is in two weeks in France at Le
Moans...cheer up emo kid.
T...out.
Hello and welcome to the second round of the 2013 MotoGP season blah blah
blah blah Circuit of the Americas blah blah blah Texas. Last time out, at
Qatar, Lorenzo got the hole-shot and cruised home to take the win and lead
in the championship. In other Qatar news, a newly re-Yamaha’d Rossi bagged
a solid 2nd place, just beating out rookie Marc ‘Baby-faced assassin/The
Joker /BFA93/Marky Marq’ Marquez who took…duh…3rd.
On to Texas…Rossi, Lorenzo, Marquez, Pedrosa, and Bradl all took part in a
3 day test, last month, which supposedly gave them the advantage of
additional track time to learn the uber-tricky 20-turn circuit. Spies and
Hayden also got a chance to poop around the track on street bikes during a
Ducati PR event, last month. Because of all this additional track time, I
expected to see all seven of these riders on the podium on race day. I
don’t think that’s asking too much. On Wednesday night, someone left their
iron on in the Yamaha Tech 3 garage, and a small fire broke out. No bikes
were damaged, but some laptops and a few pairs of white sunglasses were
destroyed. The sprinkler system also went off, soaking everything in the
Tech 3 garage as well as those of the Factory Yamaha Team, the Repsol Honda
Team, the LCR Honda Team, and whatever team Karel Abraham rides for.
Squee-Gee party, tonight!
The teams got their garages tidied up in time for practice and qualifying,
which went a little something like this…Marky Marq took his debut pole in
MotoGP. He also become the youngest rider to take pole position in MotoGP
since Freddie ‘the key is’ Spencer, back in 1876. Pedrosa and Lorenzo
rounded out the front row. Tech 3’s Cal Crutchlow, who had no prior
experience at COTA, overcame the guilt he felt for leaving the iron on, and
qualified in a solid 4th place. Rossi wound up in 8th. Hayden and Spies
qualified in 10th and 12th...behind CRT rider Aleix Asparagus. As for the
rest of team America, Edwards ended up in 18th, and Attack CRT wildcard
entry, Blake Young, just managed to qualify for the race, and started from
lasteenth place. The other American wildcard entry, Michael Barnes on the
GP Tech CRT bike, did not qualify for the race, but I’m sure he stuck
around for a few $12 hamburgers.
One person who was noticeably absent from
the track was Texas’ Kevin Schwantz. Schwantz was the driving force in
bringing MotoGP to Texas, but some behind the scenes douchebaggery courtesy
of Dorna and COTA, and the resulting court case meant that Schwantz was
barred from the track. Dicks.
Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! The riders drag their asses out of bed,
shit/shower/shave, and line up on the starting grid. A moment of silence
is observed in tribute to the victims of the recent events in Boston and
West, Texas, then the lights go out and the riders to the go 'Two-wheel
Two-steppin' in Texas' (c. Jonathan Greene 2013) into the first turn.
Marquez takes the lead into turn 1, but runs a wee-bit wide, which allows
Pedrosa into the lead.
LCR Honda's Bradl slotted into 2nd, followed by
Marquez, Lorenzo, and Crutchlow. Ducati's Dovizioso made a decent start on
his red shopping cart in 6th. Rossi got a crap start but managed to take
over 6th from Dovizioso. Marquez quickly got past Bradl, and set off after
his teammate, little Dani P. A few corners later, Lorenzo also got past
Bradl, and took over 3rd. That was pretty neat.
Next on Bradl's 'who's
gonna pass me, next?' list is Crutchlow. For the next few laps Crutchlow
rides Bradl's ass (not in a prison-y way) and then makes a move, fucks that
up, runs wide, and heads back to the drawing board. Crutchlow finally manages to
reel Bradl back in, reattach himself to the German's ass, and eventually
gives him das boot via a fairly stout inside pass...par for the course for
Crutchlow.
Up in frontsville, Pedrosa is still leading with Marquez behind him, just
biding his time, and waiting to make a move. Lorenzo is still stuck back
in 3rd, where he will finish. Moving on...Everyone pretty much holds
station until there's 9 laps to go, when BFA93 delivers the death blow,
shoves Pedrosa aside, and scampers off to win the race, becoming the
youngest rider to ever win a MotoGP race. Nice work, kid. Pedrosa tries
to keep up, but eventually rolls it home in 2nd. Marquez' win has him tied
with Lorenzo for the championship lead at 41 points each. Game on!
Back in the pack, Rossi forgot to remove his disc lock, before the race,
and blamed his 6th place finish on a broken front brake rotor. As for the
'mericans, Hayden finished in an exceptionally average 9th place, Spies
crossed the line in 13th, and Blake Young finished where he started in
lasteenth place. Colin Edwards retired from the race with a broken
something-or-other.
Next stop is at Jerez, in Spain in two weeks. Will we see another Spanish
inquisition, or will Rossi leave the disc lock at home and do the business. He doesn't care, he's off to Charlotte to spend a day or two turning left.
Results, y'all;
1) Marquez/Honda
2) Pedrosa/Honda
3) Lorenzo/Yamaha
4) Crutchlow/Yamaha
5) Bradl/Honda
6) Rossi/Yamaha
7) Dovizioso/Ducati
8) Bautista/Honda
9) Hayden/Ducati
10)Iannone/Ducati
11)Espargaro/Aprilia CRT
12)Smith/Yamaha
13)Spies/Ducati
14)DePuniet/Aprilia CRT
15)Hernandez/Aprilia CRT
16)Laverty/Aprilia CRT
17)Aoyama/Kawasaki CRT
18)Barbera/Kawasaki CRT
19)Corti/Kawasaki CRT
20)Staring/Honda CRT
21)Young/Kawasaki CRT
DNF)Petrucci/BMW CRT (retired)
DNF)Pesek/BMW CRT (crash)
DNF)Edwards/Kawasaki CRT (retired)
T...Out
*Pics from MotoGP.com
Chaz doubles down...more news at 10:59.
So…it’s the first round of the 2013 MotoGP season at the ‘racetrack in a
sandbox’ Losail Circuit, in Qatar. This marks the tenth year that the
Losail circuit has been hosting MotoGP…don’t say I didn’t teach you
anything. The big news, which has all the Uccios at full-boney, is
that Valentino Rossi told Ducati to go get fucked, and re-jumped ship back
to the Factory Yamaha team, where he won some races and championships and
stuff, a few years ago. Ben Spies sort of did the same (minus the championships),
but in reverse, and ditched the Factory Yamaha for a satellite Ducati
shopping cart…I’m still baffled on this one, but, whatever. In other news,
Marc Marquez graduated from Moto2 to a top-shelf Repsol Honda ride (The
‘rookie rule’ is so 2010.), Dovizioso took over Rossi’s vacant Factory
Ducati, and Britain’s favorite Moto2 mid-packin’ ginger kid, Bradley Smith,
found himself on a Tech 3 Yamaha, for 2013…and that is how you write a
proper run-on sentence. Also, a bunch of CRT riders switched
teams/bikes/chassis/engines/sunglasses sponsors …Google it.
Also new for 2013 is the ‘new for 2013’ qualifying format. Pay attention
and take notes. The riders with the top ten times from all the free
practice sessions, combined, get a free pass through to the second (and
final) 15 minute qualifying session (QP2). Everyone else must go through
the first 15 minute qualifying session (QP1), with only the top two riders
in QP1 advancing to QP2. Andrea Iannone and USA’s Ben Spies were the only
prototype riders who did not make the cut for QP2, so they had to slum it
in QP1 with all the CRT riders. Iannone and Aleix Espargaro (ART Aprilia
CRT contraption) were the top two in QP1, and advanced to QP2. Big Ben
Spies didn’t make the cut. Are you getting all of this?
QP2. I think the idea behind having two short, 15 minute qualifying
sessions (versus a single 45-minute session), was that the riders would be
trying to set their fast laps right away, versus cruising around and
dicking around with bike adjustments, etc…more excitement, I guess. What
happened, especially in QP2, was sort of a traffic clusterfuck, with
everyone on track at the same time, getting in each other’s way. Jorge
Lorenzo made the smart move, and was the first one out on track, when the
session started. With no traffic in front of him, he banged out a few
fast laps, secured pole position, scurried back to his pitbox, and called
it a day. Rossi kind of fucked himself by entering the track behind a
bunch of slower riders. He didn’t really get any clear track, and ended up
qualifying 7th. Bummer dude. Calvin Crutchlow and Dani Pedrosa rounded
out the front row. The second row consisted of Dovizioso, Bradl, and
Marquez. As for the Yanks; Hayden 11th, Spies 13th, and Edwards 19th.
On to the race. The 'drivers'(c. 2013 Greg Creamer)grid up, random camel
poops are swept off the track by the corner workers, and its game on.
Lorenzo gets the jump on everyone and immediately opens up a gap. Pedrosa
slots into second, followed by Dovizioso, Crutchlow, and Rossi. Rossi gets
past Crutchlow and goes after Dovizioso. Rossi makes a move on Dovizioso
but runs wide. Later in the lap, Rossi takes another crack at Dovi and
gets past, but almost ass-packs Pedrosa in the process, and loses several
places. Up front, Lorenzo pretty much checks out, rides like a boss, and
wins the race by a country kilometer...enough about him.
Meanwhile, Marquez has been coming through the field, and is now on
Crutchlow's ass. Marquez eventually helps himself to an around-the-outside
move on Crutchlow, into turn 1, and sets after his teammate, wee-Dani P.
Crutchlow has latched on to Marquez and Dani P., but can't get past. Any
time he makes up in the tighter parts of the track is lost to the top speed
of the Hondas on the front straight. While all this is going on, Rossi is
two spots back trying to get past Bradl. Rossi finally murders Bradl on
the brakes and gets past. Bradl tries to hang with Rossi, but the German
no-can-do and beaches his u-boat in the process. Schiesse!
Finally, with clear track in front of him, Rossi (who is also riding in a
very 'boss-like' manner) starts to reel in the Pedrosa/Marquez/Crutchlow
funky bunch, who are about 5 seconds ahead. Six laps to go, and Marquez
moves past Pedrosa to take the the lead of the funky bunch. While this is
going on, Rossi finally latches on to the funky bunch, and gets past
Crutchlow (sending him off in to the desert in the process). Few corners
later, Rossi makes quick work of Pedrosa, into 3rd, and goes after Marquez.
Rossi goes past Marquez into a right-hander and makes it stick.
Marquez gets the spot back a the end of the front straight, but Rossi ain't got
time for that, and repays the favor two corners later. Rossi proceeds to
turn it up to 11, leaves Marquez behind, and brings it home in a solid
second place. Italy spontaneously combusts.
On the cool-down lap, Rossi's bike ran out of fuel, and he had to hitch a
ride to Parc Ferme' on the back of his Iannone's Ducati. Oh, the irony.
Result:
1)Lorenzo/Yamaha
2)Rossi/Yamaha
3)Marquez/Honda
4)Pedrosa/Honda
5)Crutchlow/Yamaha
6)Bautista/Honda
7)Dovizioso/Ducati
8)Hayden/Ducati
9)Iannone/Ducati
10)Spies/Ducati
11)Espargaro/ART Aprilia
12)De Puniet/ART Aprilia
13)Barbera/FTR Kawasaki
14)Hernandez/ART Aprilia
15)Aoyama/FTR Kawasaki
16)Corti/FTR Kawasaki
17)Laverty/PBM Aprilia
18)Pesek/Suter BMW
DNF)Edwards/FTR Kawasaki
DNF)Petrucci/Suter BMW
DNF)Bradl/Honda
DNF)Smith/Yamaha
DNF)Staring/FTR Honda
DNF}Abraham/ART Aprilia
So, that's about that...Lorenzo picks up where he left off, Rossi has his shit together, Marquez is legit, and Pedrosa is...well...Pedrosa. The next stop is in two weeks, when MotoGP makes its first appearance at the brand spankin' new Circuit of the Americas, which is located in Texas, America. New York City? Get a rope!
Photos from twitter.com/texastornado5 and www.motogp.com
T...out
Round 13 of the 2012 MotoGP world championship brings the crew to the recently renamed Misano World Circuit Marco Simoncelli in the Republic of Dan Marino. The track was renamed in honor of local MotoGP star and hair-farmer, Marco Simoncelli, who who lost his life as a result of injuries sustained during the opening laps of last year's Malaysian Grand Prix.
In other news...Homeboy Hayden is back after his Indy moonshot, Honda World Superbike's Johnny Rea is in for Stoner on a Repsol Honda, and Spies finally spilled the beans that he would be on a 'factory-supported' Pramac Ducati, for 2013.
Hurry up and wait...after scurrying around to get their trucks unloaded, pit boxes assembled, and bikes set up in time for Friday's first practice session, the rain fell mainly in San Marino. Only a handful of riders went out in either of the day's free practice sessions, and accomplished a whole lotta nothing. Everyone else just loafed around in the paddock doing what/whoever. Water scares them almost as much as being away from their iPhones and white sunglasses for any amount of time.
No time for cartoons, on Saturday, as the boys need to get their shit together and figure out what color of power bands work best around the MWCMS. The first session, on Saturday was wet-n-patchy, which had most of the riders going with the more conservative-colored power bands. Blue, purple, and olive green seemed to work the best as they tenderfooted around in the wet-to-drying conditions.
By the time Saturday afternoon's qualifying session rolled around, the track was dry, the sun was shining, and it was time to uncork the power of the preferred colors...fire engine red, neon orange, and bedazzled glitterchroma. With that rainbow party out of the way, we have Pedro on pole, JLo in second, and Calvin Crutchlow in third. The second row was Bradl, Bautista, and Rossi. The Ben Spies was the top Yank in eighth, and everyone else blah blah blah...so on and so forth,
So with the clusterfuck that was practice and qualifying out of the way, I was sure we can count on a hassle-free, smoothly-executed race, right? Negative Ghostrider. On the starting grid, daddy's boy Abraham managed to stall his Ducati just as the red lights were about to go out. The yellow flags came out, the red lights turned to blinky amber lamps, and about half the grid launched from their grid spots...somehow, no one got ass-packed.
Grid up, part deaux...the riders are waiting to do another warm up lap when Pedrosa's crew suddenly wheel his Honda off the grid and back behind pitwall. It turns out the well-oiled machine that is Pedrosa's crew managed to get his tire warmer caught in the brakes. They finally figured their shit out and send Pedro out on his sighting lap, from pit lane. Pedro barely makes the grid, having to draft the pace car just to get there. Since his bike had to be wheeled off the grid and into the pits, Polesitter Pedro is forced to start from last on the grid. Brutal.
Lights out....finally. JLo gets away with the holeshot, with Rossi (gasp!) in second, and Bradl barging his way into third. From last on the grid, Pedrosa gets up to twelfth, but that doesn't matter, because a few corners later, Hectic Hector Barbera mumbles something about Estoril 2006, and uses his Pramac Ducati to torpedo Pedro...sending the wee-Spaniard tumbleweeding into the gravel. No es bueno.
Up front, JLo's going away...guess who wins? Rossi and his shiny red shopping cart are looking solid and fast, as opposed to earlier this season (and all of 2011) when they looked more tentative than a senior citizen trying walk down a sidewalk after an icestorm. Behind Rossi was Bradl in a solid third, with the Tech 3-skateers, Crutchlow and Dovi, playing grab ass in fourth and fifth. Cancel that...Crutchlow just hit the deck. The Spies is now in fifth with Bautista closing fast, in sixth.
Bautista finally gets past Spies and quickly starts to reel in Dovi. Within a few laps, Bautista is on Dovi's ass (not in a gay way), and is looking threatening (not in a rapey way). Bradl's in front of the both of them, but is dropping fast. Bautista makes quick work of Dovi and proceeds to latch on to the rear of Bradl (OK...that one's questionable). At this point Bautista, Bradl, and Dovi are scrapping it out for the bottom position...err...step...on the podium. Bautista's looking comfortable as he tops this battle for the bottom spot on the podium. Dovi starts to push hard, and gets right on the tailpipe of Bautista, but Bautista pushes harder and finishes just .003 of a second before Dovi. Towel, please.
Rossi bags a solid second, and his first dry podium on a Ducati since the dawn of time. Is a win out of the question before he re-jumps ship to Yamaha?
JLo cruised home to a, pretty much, flawless 23rd win of the season. With Stoner gone at the end of the year, and JLo back with Yamaha, 2013 could be a bit of a snoozer. Then again, we have Moto2 nutcases Marq Marquez and Andrea Iannone moving up to the big boy class. They might hurt a few people's feelings...I hope.
Did Good:
1)Lorenzo / Yamaha Factory Racing
2)Rossi / Ducati Team
3)Bautista / San Carlo Honda Gresini
4)Dovizioso / Monster Yamaha Tech 3
5)Spies / Yamaha Factory Racing
6)Bradl / LCR Honda MotoGP
7)Hayden / Ducati Team
8)Rea / Stoner's Bike
9)De Puniet / Power Electronics Aspar
10)Pirro / San Carlo Honda Gresini
11)Edwards / NGM Forward Racing
12)Hernandez / COL Avintia Blusens
13)Ellison / Paul Bird Motorsport
14)Petrucci / Came Ioda Racing
15)Salom / Avintia Blusens
Did Not:
DNF)Espargaro / Power Electronics Aspar
DNF)Crutchlow / Monster Yamaha Tech 3
DNF)Pasini / Speed Master
DNF)Barbera / Pramac Racing
DNF)Pedrosa / Repsol Honda
DNF)Abraham / Cardion AB Motoracing
JLo has left the building with a grown up-sized 38 point lead over Pedro. Stoner and his jacked-up ankle are still in with a mathematical chance, but sit a hefty 84 points behind JLo, with five rounds to go. The next stop is September 30th (a.k.a. my birthday) at the Aragon circuit near Alcañiz, Spain. Send me gifts.
T...Out.
*Pictures from www.cycleworld.com, www.mcnews.com.au, and www.topsportracing.com
So...the 12th round of the MotoGP championship heads back over the pond to Brno for the Grand Prix České republiky (or something like that). Last week, at the Indianapolis Supermotorbrickway, little Dani Pedrosa bagged his second win of the year over JLo and everyone else. This time, at Brno, Stoner and Hayden are out, which puts Stoner further back in the championship points, and Hayden even furtherer back, in Kentucky. With Stoner out, could we see a possible 2012 podium debut from Spies, Crutchlow, or Bradl?
In other news...after being dicked around by Ducati with the promise of a factory ride in 2013, Crutchlow finally said 'fuck it', and re-signed with his current Tech 3 Yamaha team, for next year. With Dovizioso off to the Factory Ducati team, Crutchlow will be joined, next year, by fellow Brit and current Moto 2 midpack Ginger-kid, Bradley Smith. Smashing.
In other other news...in the latest episode of 'As The Ben Turns', we find young Mr. Spies struggling with some very pressing decisions regarding next season. Gresini Honda in MotoGP, A factory BMW in World Superbike, or pack it all in, and head back to Texas to flip burgers and race bicycles? Enquiring minds want to know, yo.
Qualifying...JLo's on pole. Calvin Crutchlow and Pedro round out the front row. The Ben heads up the second row, followed by Dovizioso and Rossi. German wunderkind, Stefan Bradl, puts his Rammstein-sponsored Honda at the top of the third row, with Bautista and daddy's boy Abraham (his pops owns the track), in tow.
On to the race...JLo gets a totally bitchin' start, and leads the posse in to turn 1, followed by Pedro and Crutchlow. Spies gets away in fourth, but gets taken by Rossi and Dovi in the next few corners. A few corners later, Spies throws out an arm-up S.O.S, pulls off the racing line, and drops back to thirteenth-ish....his 2012 'Black cats and broken mirrors' tour seems to be in full effect.
Meanwhile, back in Gotham City, Spanish super-chums JLo and Pedro continue on at the front, followed by Calvin, in a solid third. Rossi's looking decent in fifth, just behind Dovi, but can't seem to make any forward progress. The Ducati mechanics had planned on this, and figured if Rossi can't move forward, then they'll just have to keep everyone else behind. They did this by implementing a clever 'Spy vs. Spy' smoke screen tactic. Upon downshifting/braking, Rossi's Ducati would fart out a cloud of blue smoke to keep his followers at bay.
14 laps to go...Spies gets his shit together, starts picking off some of the midpack fellas, and cracks the top ten. Up front, JLo's still leading, but has been closed down by Pedro...we might have a race on our hands. Back in fifth, the smoke-shooter-outer thingy on Rossi's Ducati seems to have malfunctioned, which has allowed Bradl to close in and get all up his business. Bradl goes up the inside of Rossi who pays him back on the next corner. Bradl counter-counters on the next corner, and makes it stick, for fifth. Back in the pack, Spies rides under a ladder, loses the front and fires his Yamaha into the gravel. Par for the course.
Up front...Pedro shadow JLo, takes over at the front, and the announcers say something about doing 'donkey work'. JLo is not discouraged. He summons the powers of Donnie Wahlberg, and hangs tough behind Pedro. Things hold station, until the last lap, when JLo takes the wide line into the hairpin, turns it in, and barges Pedro out of the way courtesy of a rather generous helping of stuffing. Pedrosa ain't tryin' to hear that, and looks to get past JLo, on the brakes, a few corners later. JLo holds firm on the outside, but runs it wide, which allows Pedro to fire a shot across his bow, square off the corner, and take his third win of the season. Chocala!
Further back, Crutchlow rails out of the final corner, Nick Harris and Gavin Emmett blow their loads, and Crutchlow takes his maiden MotoGP podium...and the first MotoGP podium by a Brit since 1886. Cracking.
Result:
1) Pedrosa / Repsol Honda
2) Lorenzo / Factory Yamaha
3) Crutchlow / Tech 3 Yamaha
4) Dovizioso / Same as Crutchlow
5) Bradl / Rammstein Honda
6) Baustista / Gresini Honda
7) Rossi / Factory Ducati
8) De Puniet / Power Electronics Aspar
9) Abraham / Cardion AB Ducati
10) Espargaro / Power Electronics Aspar
11) Elias / Pramac Ducati
12) Hernandez / BQR
13) Edwards / NGM Forward Racing
14) Pirro / Gresini Honda
15) Ellison / Paul Bird Racing
16) Pasini / Speed Master
17) Petrucci / Ioda Racing Project
DNF) Silva / BQR
DNF) Spies / Factory Yamaha
DNS) Stoner / Repsol Honda
Alrighty then...Jlo leaves Brno with a smaller'd points lead over Pedro. Stoner still has a mathematical shot at the 2012 title, but is likely to be out of the next two rounds due to his injured ankle. Current Castrol Honda World Superbike rider/wrecking ball, Johnny Rea, has been drafted in to fill Stoner's shoes (get it?), if needed.
Next stop is in two weeks at the awesomely-renamed Misano World Circuit Marco Simoncelli in San Marino. The word on the worldwide interwebs is that Homeboy Hayden will be back in action. Get there.
T...out.
*Pics from mcnews.com.au and some random Google searches.
Is this thing on? Round eleven of the 2012 MotoGP champeenship comes to you from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway...known as the 'Brickyard' to racing fans, and as a really shitty track to most of the MotoGP riders. Indianapolis is the second and final stop on the MotoGP tour de force de America de 2012.
Last time out, the MotoGP tdfdAde2012 set up shop at Laguna Seca. It was the usual suspects on the podium; Stoner, JLo, and Pedrosa. Stoner took the lead, and the win, by completely blowing JLo's doors off (no amount of woodscrews could have prevented it) with a 160mph around-the-outside pass into turn one. It was pretty fucking impressive.
Before the race, birthday boy Hayden announced he had signed on for another year on the factory Ducati. Apparently, Hayden was offered a two-year deal, but insisted on just a one-year deal...I'm assuming he did this to give himself an 'out' in case the Ducati continues to handle like a shiny red shopping cart. Smart move, homeboy. Ducati also sent one of their executive types to Laguna Seca with a giant sack of Audi cash in hopes of persuading Valentino Rossi to also re-sign with Ducati. Rossi has made no secret that he thinks the bike is shit and that he had been exploring other options. One idea was for Rossi to run a factory-supported Honda in a one man satellite team. Honda, however, is still butthurt about what Rossi wrote about them in his autobiography, so they want nothing to do with him. During the race, Rossi lost the front end at 120mph, and fired his Ducati into the gravel at the top of the corkscrew. He then went down to tell the Ducati executive 'Thanks, but no fucking way'. A few days later, he signed up to take Ben Spies' seat on the Factory Yamaha, along side JLo for 2013 and 2014.
Ben Spies also got in on the 'big announcement' action by telling the top brass at Yamaha to go fuck themselves, and that he was leaving the factory team (and MotoGP, altogether) at the end of the season...word on the street is that Spies will return to the World Superbike series to ride a Factory BMW along side soon-to-be fellow MotoGP refugee, Marco Melandri. Later, during the race, the swingarm on Spies' Yamaha mysteriously collapsed, putting Spies on the ground at the bottom of the corkscrew. Things that make you go hmmmm....
Anyway....blah blah blah. Enough about Laguna Seca. Fast forward to Indianapolis
As the MotoGP tdfdAd2012 touched down in Indy, JLo held a 19 point lead over Pedrosa, with Stoner a further 18 points back in third. All three have won at Indy, before, so it's game on. Since he lives just across the creek in Kentucky, this was Homeboy Hayden's home race, and he was looking to put his shiny red shopping cart up towards the frontish end of the grid. Hayden's teammate, Rossi, having just announced his departure for Yamaha, was looking to poop around and phone-in a solid mid-pack result. Spies was just looking to finish a race. AMA superdudes Aaron Yates and Steve Rapp were in the house as wildcard CRT (Google it) entries for the American teams GP Tech and Attack Performance, respectively. Colin Edwards was also there, and he was looking to 'accidentally' drop f-bombs while being interviewed by the media.
As it has a habit of doing, qualifying came and went with Pedrosa ending the session at the top of the charts in pole position. JLo started in second, and Dovizioso rounded out the front row, in third. What about Stoner, you ask? Stoner, along with Spies and Hayden, got bored with the usual qualifying rigamaroll, and held an impromptu highside contest at turn 14. Stoner drew the short straw and went first. Stoner was flicked off the bike in the fast section of the corner as it opens onto a short straight. I don't know what was more impressive, the speed of the crash or Stoner's hang time. Stoner was carted off to a local hospital and diagnosed w/torn ligaments in his right foot and questionable for the race, the next day. Despite missing the rest of the qualifying session, Stoner's fastest time from earlier in the session was good enough for a 6th place spot on the grid.
Next up was Spies. Spies chose the slower part of the corner to display his skills. The lack of speed resulted in a fairly garden-variety highside, with (thankfully) no serious injuries. Spies hobbled back to the pits, jumped on his spare bike, rejoined the session, and qualified in a decent 4th position. High five! The final contestant was Homeboy Hayden. Like Stoner, Hayden chose to use the faster portion of the corner to showcase his technique, and he didn't disappoint. As the rear of Hayden's bike came around, he was tossed on to the tank, and briefly surfed on top of the bike 'Teen Wolf' style, before being launched into space. When he finally hit the deck, he was KO'd, and did that creepy limp/body flopping/tumbling thing in to the gravel. He was carted off to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with a jacked-up right hand and declared unfit for the race. Gutted.
So, yeah....all that shit happened, and then everyone scurried back to their motorhomes and hotel rooms to do whatever people do in their motorhomes and hotel rooms.
Race day...finally. Fresh off his strong showing in the turn 14 highside contest, Spies managed to set the fastest time in the morning warm up, and even bettered his qualifying time from the previous day. Time to go racing. The riders grid 'em up, the lights go out, and it's time to rock. Pedro gets the hole shot into turn 1, but Spies goes around the outside to line up a an inside move into the next corner(for those keeping track, that'd be turn 2)to take the lead.
Behind Spies and Pedro, it was Dovi, JLo, and Stoner duking it out for the last spot on the podium. Spies looked comfy, up front, and seemed to easily fend off Pedro's pass attempts. The only problem is that Pedro weighs about as much as a sparrow's fart, and was able to get past Spies along the long front straight, but that didn't matter, as Spies would kill Pedro on the brakes, and take over the lead in to turn 1. This went on for a few laps, until Spies' motor shit the bed, while heading down the front straight...the shit never ends. With Yamaha already on Mama Spies' shit list from the last few mechanical DNFs, I'm assuming the wrath she unleashed on the crew, back in the pits, was nothing short of phenomenal.
With Spies out, Pedrosa was able to scamper off to his second win of the season. Game. Set. Match. JLo continued to roll around in 2nd. He was occasionally able to close the gap on Pedro, but having chosen a softer tire, he drifted back to lonely 2nd place finish, but still retained his lead in the points.
Stoner and his crocked ankle occasionally challenged Dovi for the final podium position, but settled for a safe 4th place finish. Dovi's 3rd place finish was his 5th podium of the season, and the most by any Yamaha Tech 3 rider in one season. Not too shabby for a dude with a girl's first name. Dovi looks to be off to Ducati, next year, to take Rossi's seat. Melandri, Rossi, and now Dovizioso...are all Italian MotoGP riders genetically predisposed to career suicide?
So that's about that. JLo's point lead was reduced, but not too much. Spies is probably wanted by the Indiana state police on several assault charges, and, as I hypothesized, Rossi tooled around to a solid mid-pack (7th) finish. It should be mentioned that the American CRT Wildcard entries, Yates and Rapp, finished the race in 16th and 15th...seriously impressive considering they had very little time to test the bikes.
The next stop for the MotoGP tour de force is next weekend at Brno in Czechland. I'm sure JLo, Stoner, and Pedro will continue their game of musical chairs for the top spot on the podium. Hayden has been ruled out of the race due to an injured hand, which means Rossi will be the sole Factory Ducati rider...I hope his phone bill is paid. Between now and Brno, Spies' crew will be hard at work planning his next mechanical failure. Smart money says they'll go with sugar in the gas tank, or the old banana in the tailpipe trick.
Result:
1) Pedrosa / Repsol Honda
2) Lorenzo / Factory Yamaha
3) Dovizioso / Tech 3 Yamaha
4) Stoner / Repsol Honda
5) Bautista / Gresini Honda
6) Bradl / LCR Honda
7) Rossi / Factory Ducati
8) Abraham / Cardion AB Ducati
9) Hernandez / Avintia Blusens
10) Espargaro / Power Electronics Aspar
11) Elias / Pramac Ducati
12) Silva / Avintia Blusens
13) Edwards / NGM Forward Racing
14) Rapp / Attack Performance
15) Ellison / Paul Bird Motorsport
16) Yates / GP Tech
DNF) Crutchlow / Tech 3 Yamaha
DNF) De Puniet / Power Electronics Aspar
DNF) Spies / Factory Yamaha
DNF) Pirro / Gresini Honda
DNF) Pasini / Speed Master
DNF) Petrucci / Came Ioda Racing
DNS) Hayden / Factory Ducati
T...out
