MotoGP Brno

Well, the Summer break is over and the all the riders (except Stoner) and their crews had to drag their asses out of the discos, off the beaches, and head to the Brno curcuit in Czechland to start the second 'half' of the MotoGP season. Coming into this round, Rossi held a 25 point championship lead over teammate/rival Jorge Lorenzo. Stoner, who decided to take some additional vacation time (more on that later), sat 37 points behind Rossi.

After crashing during qualifying, Rossi decided to set the fastest lap of the session and started the race from pole. Rossi's homie, J-Lo, was looking to beat Rossi in a head-to-head fight at Brno, and strenghten his argument that he should be the top dog in the Fiat Yamaha garage. Even if J-Lo manages to finish above Rossi, the odds of him becoming the lead rider are about as good as me emptying my dishwasher AND curing all forms of cancer in the next 45 minutes. 140,000 vowel-starved fans packed the stands at Brno. According to the MotoGP announcers, the on-site vendors started selling pints of beer at 7am, and by the start of the 250 race, had sold out. Take it from me, never underestimate the value of a flask of vodka...even if it's 'Speedway' brand vodka purchased at a truck stop 15 miles West of Indianapolis. Enough about that...here we go.

So then...under the glorious Eastern European sunshine, the lights go green, and Rossi gets the jump, but Pedrosa manages to take the lead into turn 1. Pedrosa's lead lasted roughly two corners as Rossi went up the inside to take his spot at the top of the charts. JLo sat in third behind Pedro and looked to soon dispatch his pint-sized BFF.

...and then on lap 394, Buddy Lee Gordon's Tidemobile made contact with Shooter McBain's Farm and Country-sponsored Oldsmobuick sending them both ass-over-tit into the wall, which brought out the red flag. As the cars lined up behind the pacecar, the safety truck, a tractor, and the National Guard were brought out to help remove a piece of tire that was leftover from the incident... Crap! Who changed the channel!?

Sorry about that. We now return to our regularly-scheduled crap...20 laps to go, and not a lot has changed. On the star-spangled front, Edwards (P6) and Hayden (P7) are slowly making time on the lead group. Nice work. A few laps later, JLo helps himself past Pedrosa into second place and sets sail for Rossi at the front. JLo began to close the gap on Rossi. Rossi, in all his Rossiness, let JLo pester him for a bit before opening the door letting JLo past him...hook, line, and sinker.

8 to go, not much has changed. Rossi and JLo continue to trade the fasted laps of the race. In other news...Toni 'contract time' Elias and Andrea 'the other Repsol rider' Dovizioso continued to take pot-shots at each other for the last podium spot. While Dovi looked much smoother, Elias looked a lot more bonkers/determined/contractless/fun to watch/ape/sideways/whatever...take your pick. Elias ended up on the box. Oonga boonga.

Back up front, JLo looked quick, but you could tell Rossi was biding his time and applying the pressure. 5 laps to go, and the ghosts of Biaggi and Gibbers reemerge in the form of JLo chucking his Yamaha into the scenery. Game, set, match...Rossi's gone and showboating for the win. Pedro came home in a solitary second followed by 'Contract Time' in third.

Result:

1)Rossi - Yamaha

2)Pedrosa - Honda

3)Elias - Honda

4)Dovizioso - Honda

5)Capirossi - Suzuki

6)Hayden - Ducati

7)Edwards - Yamaha

8)DeAngelis - Honda

9)Toseland - Yamaha

10)DePuniet - Bunny Bike

11)Vermeulen - Suzuki

12)Canepa - Ducati

13)Talmcsi - Honda

Gravelboat:

Kallio (in for Stoner)

Melandri

Lorenzo

Fabrizio (in for Kallio)

Dude, where's my Stoner? Good question. His plan is to sit out the next three rounds (including Brno) to give him time time to diagnose/treat his mystery illness. Insiders say he's lost his will to compete at the top level and that he may be done...I hope not. In the meantime, Ducati has offered Lorenzo 7 million dollars/Euros/whatever for his services next season. Fairly interesting, considering they want to hang on to Hayden. Hmmm...

Next stop...Indianapolis Motorspeedway here in the U.S. of A. If you're heading downtown for the festivities, don't speed down Meridian St.

T...out.

MotoGP Donington

You don't turd on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with thinking there will be a completely dry motorcycle race at Donington Park...ever.

This is the last time a MotoGP race will be held at Donington. Starting next year, the British round of MotoGP will be held at Silverstone, leaving Donington to host Formula 1 and several different 'Monsters of Rock' festivals. Rad.

Rossi started from pole and want to sign off with a win at the final Donington race because 'This track 'av many many goodah memories anda I make many the great battle in this track, for sure.' Pedrosa and Georgey Lorenzo rounded out the front row of the grid. On the star-spangled tip; Edwards started from 6th and Haystack down in 15th.

At the start of the race, the track was mostly dry, with little bits of rain here and there. Everyone (except Hayden and Stoner...more on that later.) started on slick tires. If the conditions go to shit, they can always come in and switch to a 'wet' bike, right? Right.

Game on...Rossi gets the holeshot, but Lorenzo and Elias get around him in the second corner to take the top two spots. Elias around Rossi and up to 2nd? Must be contract time. The very next corner, Elias pushes the issue and goes straight past Lorenzo to take the lead. Sign here, Mr. Elias. 28 laps to go and Repsol new boy Dovizioso hits the front while his teammate, Pedrosa, was also making steady progress...backwards. Two laps later, Lorenzo takes Dovi at the end of the front straight for the lead. Where's Rossi? Back in 4th. A few laps and passes later, we have Lorenzo up front (by quite a bit), followed by Rossi, Dovi, and Pedro. The two factory Ducatis of Hayden and Stoner were still farting around at the back of the pack on their wet tires.

23 to go, and Elias had just gotten past Pedro when he highsided his Honda and set sail on the failboat. Toot toot. meanwhile, Rossi and Dovi were closing up on Lorenzo. Could Georgey stand the pressure? Nope...he touched the paint with his front tire and had a little tipover going into the final corner corner. It looked fairly harmless, but enough sponsors' stickers were scraped from the body work of his Yamaha that he was not allowed to rejoin the race.

So now we have Rossi up front, followed closely by Dovi. I'm not sure what's going behind them, because they won't show it. Cut to an onboard shot of Rossi's rear tire...it looks like it has Leprosy. Not that big of a deal (spoiler alert!) since he won't be in the race much longer. While that's going on (or off), DePuniet comes from nowhere to take his boobie-sponsored Honda past Pedro into 3rd. Tits-ahoy!

17 to go...former MotoGP world champions KC Stoner and Nicky Hayden are being lapped by the leaders. Apparently their wet tire gamble didn't pay off. Look soon for an ad at www.craigslist.it for a new Ducati weather technician.

Rossi is still up front, but is looking a little ragged. Dovi is looking smooth in second. Everyone else is miles behind...for now.

11 to go...I had nodded off when all of a sudden 'ROSSI'S DOWN!! GOOD GOLLY ROSSI'S DOWN!! THE CHAMPIONSHIP HAS BEEN BLOWN WIDE OPEN!!' My MotoGP announcer alarm clock never fails. That's right...Wonderboy went down in the Fogarty Esses. He managed to get on track and finish 5th. Somehow, he crashed, but still managed to increase his lead in the championship standings. Imagine that.

With Rossi out, Dovi was 10 seconds in front and looking to pop his MotoGP victory cherry. What about the rest? Edwards made his way up to 3rd and was closing on De Puniet, who was also closing on Dovi. Would the Bunny bike take the win? Would Edwards finally, after 3493 tries, win a MotoGP race? Nope and nope. Dovi held on for his maiden win with Edwards and De Puniet in tow. Nice work, kid.

Even with his crash, Rossi extended his lead at the top to 181 points, followed by Lorenzo with 162, and Stoner with 149. Still very close with 7 races to go.

Result:
1) Dovizioso
2) Edwards
3) De Puniet
4) De Angelis
5) Rossi
6) Toseland
7) Melandri
8) Canepa
9) Ponderosa
10) Kallio
11) Capirossi
12) Talmacsi
13) Vermeulen
14) Stoner
15) Hayden

Failboat; Elias and Lorenzo...slim crowd considering the conditions.

Next stop...Brno in the Czech Republic.

One bottle of vodka was harmed in the makming (see)of this post.

T...out.

The German-engineered Moto GP der Doucheland.

So here we are, half way through the 2009 MotoGP season, at the Sachenring Curcuit for round der nuente...Achtung!

As it has a habit of doing, qualifying came and went. Homeboy Hayden started from a season-best 4th. The front row consisted of Stoner in 3rd, Spaceman Lorenzo, and Rossi on pole. Rossi's fast lap during the wettish qualifying session was absolutely bananas!

The big hubbub leading up to this race was that Yamaha's Lorenzo has been in talks with Repsol Honda. Apparently he wants to be the 'number 1' rider on a factory team. Considering his current teammate is one V. Rossi, I don't see Lorenzo becoming the top dude @ Yamaha unless he can beat Rossi on a regular basis and win the title. My crystal ball says 'nope'.

Enough about that...the riders grid up, the vendors sell their last Bratkartoffeln, the lights go out, and the blitzkrieg is on. Rossi slots in at the top of charts, followed by Dani Ponderosa, De Puniet, and Stonah. Lorenzo got a crap start and was stuck behind De Angelis' pride flag in 6th. Hayden? He got a good start, and looked really good for the first 30 yards, or so, until he got shoved out wide by...well...pretty much everyone. Once he got his shit together, he found himself in around 9th. Tough break, kid. Playboy Du Puniet was the first to hit the deck courtesy of a second-rate highside. Hasta next weeko, Randy. Looking back to Hayden, he was clearly pissed about his his start and his riding was showing it...he went around the outside of Kallio and Capirossi coming out of the ridiculously fast downhill right-hander. Balls.

25 to go...Stoner barges past both Ponderosa and that Rossi dude to take the lead. So now it's Stoner, Rossi, Ponderosa, and Lorenzo all bunched up at the front. Game on. It's obvious that Lorenzo has his eyes on the big piece of chicken as he murders Ponderosa on the brakes at the bottom of the hill to take 3rd place.

Fast forward a few laps...Rossi get past Stoner for the lead , while Lorenzo and Ponderosa move up into 2nd and 3rd. Lorenzo is now right on the ass end of the big piece of chicken and has his knife and fork set to 'stun'. With 5 to go, Lorenzo finally pulls the trigger and outbrakes Rossi and the end of the front straight to take the lead. 2 to go, and Rossi returns the favor at the same spot. Last lap, and Rossi is still at the front...just barely. Lorenzo looked like he might have something for Rossi at the last corner, but no dice. Rossi takes the big piece of chicken by 99/1000 of a second (seriously) over Lorenzo and his side of slaw. Ponderosa cruised home in 3rd to collect a wet-nap and a small (big to him) 7up

Result:

1) Rossi - YaMAka

2) Lorenzo - Yamaha

3) Pedrosa - Honda

4) Stoner - Ducati

5) De Angelis - Honda

6) Elias - Honda

7) Melandri - Hayate

8) Hayden - Ducati

9) Edwards - Yamaha

10) Toseland - Yamaha

11) Capirossi - Suzuki

12) Canepa - Ducati

13) Vermeulen - Suzuki

14) Kallio - Ducati

15) Talmacsi - Honda

Failboat;

De Puniet

Dovizioso

Next stop...Donington Park in the G.B...bring a raincoat.

T...out.

!Fish and Destroy!

Fishing is not a crime...as long as you have a license. What better way to spend a humid Iowa evening than with a pack of smokes, a couple of quarts of crap beer, and a dozen nightcrawlers.

Here's Red's homemade Y2K9 compliant fishing hat complete with cig, lighter, and fishing license holders...as well as extra hooks and sinkers, in case those beasts at Gray's Lake decide to up their game...all fashioned from one of my old dress shirts and some janky old Gilligan hat.

The Smugglers

Iowa City...a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Other than seeing these guys and Rocket From The Crypt @ Gabes as well as all the killer Indian restaurants, these were pretty much the the only things that made my 1.5 years going to school there worth a shit.

MotoGP Laguna Seca

I can't think of a better way to celebrate our nation's birthday (other than getting drunk and blowing shit up) than a MotoGP race right here in America...Fuck Yeah! OK...maybe a World Superbike race might have been better.

Qualifyng was actually where all the real action went down. Stoner, Rossi, and Lorenzo took turns at the top throughout the session. With about 10 minutes to go, Lorenzo lowsided his Yamaha in turn 10, caught a scooter ride back to get his 2nd bike, and put in a lap that blew everyone into weeds. His following lap was even a touch quicker until he launched himself into orbit courtesy of another one of his epic highsides. Basically, he set the fastest lap, destroyed two bikes, dislocated his shoulder, and broke his foot all in the span of less than 10 minutes. Multitasking at it's finest. Moments later, Stoner (not wanting to be one-upped by Lorenzo)also highsided his Ducati in turn 3. On a scale of 1 to 10, Stoner's crash was about a 6 and Lorenzo's an 11. As the session expired, Rossi put in his fastest lap, but still ended up 2nd on the grid to Spaceman Lorenzo. Stoner started from 3rd. Homeboy Hayden put in a decent effort to start from 8th

So...the riders took their grid positions, our national anthem was butchered, the military jets flew over, and then it was game on. From 4th on the grid, all 75lbs of Dani Pedrosa went straight to the front followed by Stoner and Rossi. Dovizioso was in 4th and Elias in 5th. Spaceman Lorenzo got knocked back to 6th with Hayden a ways behind him in 7th. First time through the Corkscrew, and Rossi goes past Stoner pretty much the same way he did last year...minus the motocrossing. At the end of the first lap, Lorenzo took Elias for 5th. A lap later, Stoner went past Dovizioso and Rossi to take 2nd. Meanwhile, Little Pedro was slowly opening up a gap at the front. Sometimes I think they put things like 'scary monster chasing you' on his pit board, instead of laptimes, to spur him on. It seemed to be working.

Talmacsi was the first to go as he crashed out of last place...gifting a spot to no one. Capirossi was the next to go. Bye Loris. Toseland was awarded a ride-through penalty for making too good of a start. He ignored the penalty and was DQ'd. See you in BSB next year, James. Dovizioso was looking good in 4th until he jumped on the bandwagon and crashed out. I can't remember when Gibernau crashed, but he got more TV time than he would have gotten running back in something-teenth place. There...all crashes squeezed into one paragraph. Let's move on.

Pedro is still at the front followed by Stoner, Rossi, and Spaceman. Hayden caught up Elias and would soon put his Star Spangled Ducati up into 5th. Earl's boy done good. Stoner was looking solid in 2nd, but then remembered he was ill, and soon fell victim to both Fiat Yamahas. 5 laps to go, and Spaceman closed up on Rossi and was looking to get past. Into the last corner, Spaceman tried to put some sort of braking/stoppie/front wheel slide/jiggle/rear wheel slide/thingy on Rossi. Somehow, Spaceman didn't bowling ball Rossi and stayed on two wheels to finish in 3rd...hard as nails, considering his qualifying crash fest. Up front, Pedro got a little too comfortable with is gap. On the last corner of the last lap, Rossi showed Pedro a wheel and looked like he might get him on the brakes for the 1834th time. Rossi wasn't quite close enough, and had to settle for second. Stoner rolled home in 4th. Considering how shitty his first year on the Ducati has been, Hayden's 5th was some good stuff. So there it was...let's see what happens (and how much it rains) when we head back to Indianapolis in August.

Race Result:

1) Pedrosa - Repsol Honda

2) Rossi - Fiat Yamaha

3) Lorenzo - Fiat Yamaha

4) Stoner - Marlboro Ducati

5) Hayden - Marlboro Ducati

6) Elias - Gresini Honda

7) Edwards - Tech 3 Yamaha

8) Vermeulen - Rizla Suzuki

9) De Puniet - LCR Honda

10) Melandri - Hayate Racing

11) De Angelis - Gresini Honda

12) Canepa - Pramac Ducati

Failboat:

Talmacsi - Scot Honda

Capirossi - Rizla Suzuki

Dovizioso - Repsol Honda

Gibernau - Grupo Francisco Hernando Ducati

Toseland - Tech 3 Yamaha

Next stop...The Sausagering in Germany.

T...out.

She Watch Channel Zero

Red brought home two small Channel (see what I did there) Catfish from her fishing excursion. She decided they were too small and cute to make into nuggets. So...in a move that would have most aquarium nerds crapping their pants, we put them (the fish, not the aqua-nerds) in our big tank with the Oscars. So far, so good. Griff and Flav seem to get along with everyone. Ironic, considering the Oscars are white. Yeah Boyeeee!

White devil keepin''em down.

World Superbike - Donington Park

Fresh off of last weekend's round @ Misano where he clawed back a whole 5 points on Haga's championship lead, Spies rolled into Old Blighty still 48 points down. Qualifying saw Spies on pole (imagine that) followed Biaggi, Byrne, and Nakano. Spies' only real concern in the world, Haga, started from the middle of the second row in 6th spot. Will it rain? Who cares....I am perfectly aware that I can get some sweet financing on a Yamaha ATV and, no, I don't want to tune in Tuesday for NASCAR Cribs, so start the fucking race, already!

Race 1...Spies gets the holeshot into turn 1 followed by Biaggi and Haga. To be honest, there really wasn't too much to this race. Spies and Biaggi put a gap on Haga. Biaggi managed to stay with Spies most of the race...I'm pretty sure that was due to Spies going just fast enough to keep Biaggi behind him, but still in front of Haga. Smart ride. Further back, the Aggro-American John Hopkins did good in his first post-injury race to make his way up to 8th from 11th on the grid. Spies took the top step of the podium with his buffer-buddy Biaggi in 2nd. Haga cruised to a safe 3rd.

Spies

Biaggi

Haga

Race 2...Second race, same as the first (kind of). Biaggi gets the lead into turn 1 in front of Spies. Spies was just funnin', though and went past Biaggi intot he following corner. Biaggi's teammate, Nakano, wasted no time in running his rickshaw into the gravel and out of the race. Bummer. Not wanting to be left out, Biaggi did the same, but managed to get back on track...and get sideswiped by a passing rider in the process. Haga was the next to hit the deck, and he did it in spectacular style via a fast, but goofy-looking highside. Originally it was thought that he had cracked a vertebrae and broke his wrist. Turns out the vertebrae was an old injury, and he had his wrist plated-up. He should be back at the next round in Brno in about a month. In true Groundhog Day style, Spies would scurry off to take his second win of the weekend. With Haga out, it was up to his teammate, Fabrizio, to uphold the honor of Bologna. Fabri did his best, but the ever-flaptastic Haslam was clearly in a bigger hurry to get back to his motorhome (Google: Olivia Stringer) and forced Fabrizio to settle for 3rd. AMA stand-in, Blake Young, put in a good ride to finish in 15th. Fairly impressive considering that he was just on vacation with Kevin Scwantz when he got the call to duty.

Spies

Haslam and Fabrizio

Spies now sits just 14 points behind Haga with 5 rounds (14 races) to go. Velly intellesting. Next stop...Brno.

Race 1

1) Spies - Yamaha

2) Biaggi - Aprilia

3) Haga - Ducati

Race 2

1) Spies - Yamaha

2) Haslam - Honda

3) Fabrizio - Ducati

Even in Europe, water bottles are the preferred vodka-smuggling conainers.

T...out.

Sunday

Jeremy and I hooked up to go motorsickle riding...our plan was to make our way to Waukee to visit Miller's grave. Three gravel roads and one exploded fork seal later, we made it. The roads in Dallas county are very...um...not curvy.

By far, the coolest gravestone in the yard.

We had a memorial sidewalk tile placed on the sidewalk near the Corkscrew at Laguna Seca Raceway in Monterey, California. This is a replica of said tile.

The etching on gravestone is from an actual picture of Miller. I think it was taken at Eddyville Raceway.

MotoGP Assen

So...the MotoGP posse rolled into Assen with Rossi, Stoner, and Lorenzo all tied at the top of the championship with 106 points each. Whatever happens, we'll have a new championship leader in 26 laps...assuming all three riders don't crash out, or whatever.

Lights out and Pedrosa hit the front into turn 1 followed by Rossi and Stoner. Lorenzo got a crap start from second on the grid and spent the first few corners back in around 6th. Stoner picked off Rossi and Pedrosa at the and of the back straight to move to the front. A few corners later, Stoner runs really fucking wide and lets Rossi through to the front. 1 lap...3 different leaders...sweet. Meanwhile, Lorenzo got his shit together and latched on to the back of the leading 3 riders. Vermeulen was having a good ride 'up' in 5th position...must be contract time. The real party was the battle for 6th spot. Homeslice Hayden lead the group, and for once, was looking comfortable. Ducati must've finally dropped that extra 20-spot for new handgrips. Maybe a carbon-look yoke cover might put him in the top 5...someone get Lockhart Phillips on the line.

A few laps later, Lorenzo moves past Pedrobot into 3rd spot. Pedro tries to get the spot back, but can't hang with Lorenzo's pace and tosses his Honda into the grass. Cut to shot of a rather disappointed Puig...Gold! Two corners later, Lorenzo kills Stoner on the brakes and moves into the first loser spot. Where's Rossi? About 1/2 hour in front of Lorenzo. The top 3 would remain the same to the end.

While the top 3 toodled around, the 'battle for 6th spot' party was still a raging kegger. Toseland, Kallio, Hayden, De Puniet, De Angelis, Capirossi, and Melandri (sort of)all took turns at the front of this group. Kallio looked to be the Fin to beat until slid off in the last long left-hander and ground his pinky off in the process. Toseland got the better of the group followed by De Puniet and Hayden. Edwards and Vermeulen took a lonely 4th and 5th respectively.

So...Rossi won his 100th GP and, of course, had to celebrate. On the cool down lap, his fanboys brought out a giant poster-thingy which pictured all 99 of his previous victories. I was hoping for something more along the lines of Rossi doing 100 push-ups, doing 100 shots of whiskey, or just giving everyone in the crowd 100 Euros.

Race Result:

1) Rossi - Yamaha

2) Lorenzo - Yamaha

3) Stoner - Ducati

4) Edwards - Yamaha

5) Vermeulen - Suzuki

6) Toseland - Yamaha

7) De Puniet - Honda

8) Hayden - Ducati

9) Capirossi - Suzuki

10) De Angelis - Honda

11) Melandri - Hayasaki

12) Elias - Honda

13) Gibernau - Ducati

14) Canepa - Ducati

15) Takahashi - Honda

16) Talmacsi - Honda

Fail Boat

Pedrosa - Honda

Dovizioso - Honda

Kallio - Ducati

Next weekend...Laguna Seca.

T...out.

Qualifying - Moto GP @ Assen

Valentino Rossi will start the Assen MotoGP race from pole position. If Rossi managed to convert pole to win, it will be his 100th GP win. Not too shabby. More importantly; Rossi, Lorenzo, and Stoner are tied at the top of the championship with 106 points each going into this race. Don't forget...the race actually happens Saturday (tomorrow), but won't be broadcast here in the states until Sunday. I won't post any race results until then.Scroll down for a handy-dandy television schedule.

Qualifying Results

1) Rossi-Yamaha

2) Pedrosa-Honda

3) Lorenzo-Yamaha

4) Stoner-Ducati

5) Edwards-Yamaha

6) Capirossi-Suzuki

7) Vermeulen-Suzuki

8) Dovizioso-Honda

9) Toseland-Yamaha

10) De Puniet-Honda

11) De Angelis-Honda

12) Kallio-Ducati

13) Hayden-Ducati

14) Melandri-Hayate

15) Elias-Honda

16) Gibernau-Ducati

17) Canepa-Ducati

18) Takahashi-Honda

19) Talmasci-Honda

-->TV Party This Sunday!<--

2pm CST World SBK Race 1 Donington Park

3pm CST World SBK Race 2 Donington Park

4pm CST 250GP Assen

5pm CST MotoGP Assen

World Superbike Misano (that's in Italy, ya know.)

Seeing as the MotoGP posse had the weekend off, God took the opportunity to divert his 'piss down' attentions to the World Superbike races @ Misano. Qualifying came and went, with Jakob 'vowels are for the weak' Smrz landing his Dcti on pole, followed by Rea, Speez, and Fabrizio. Up to this point, Ben Spies has started from pole at every round. Even with Spies' double win last time out here in the U.S. of A., Haga still holds a 48 point lead over Spies in the championship. Will Spies close the points-gap on Haga? Will Smrz parlay his pole into a win or two? Will AMA homeslice Jamie Hacking crack the top ten? Will I actually be able to post this using my poop-slow antique laptop? Stay tuned...

Race 1 was declared a 'wet race'. Britain's Shakey Byrne took his milk-sponsored Ducati into the lead into turn 1. At one point, Bryne had a 15 second lead over Xaus in 2nd and (gasp!)Hacking in 3rd. About 12 laps into the 24 lap race (a.k.a. half way), the track started to dry, and bike-swaps ensued. Spies was one of the first to switch which allowed him a few laps to get his slicks up to temp. By the time the rest of the field (except Hacking*) had switched to dry tires, Spies was already up to a dry race pace. Watching him blitz everyone and take an 8 second win was actually pretty comical. Byrne brought his private Duck home in 2nd followed by the factory Duck of Fabrizio (who just held of Mr. No-vowels)in third.

*Hacking's team put in the time, money, and effort to prepare a bike and get him across the pond to ride it, but failed inform him of the 'wet race' tire rules. Oops.

Race 1 1) Spies 2) Bryne 3) Fabrizio

Rossi was in the house...bored with MotoGP?

Race 2...Dry race. Off the line, Fabrizio gets the jump followed by Britain's Johnny Rea (Ten Kate Honda) and some dude named Haga. Spies settled in behind Haga in 4th...for the time being. About 2 laps in, it was obvious that all was not well in the land of Spies. After being easily passed by 4 or 5 riders, threw up the S.O.S. hand. After a few laps of cruising around, Spies seemed to be back up to speed and picking off riders left and right. It turns out his clutch was fried.

Said Spies; “The clutch was just fried. I couldn't accelerate at all. It was slipping so bad I just had to baby it out of the turns. Then I adjusted the hell out of it for several laps, trying anything to make it work. It was difficult trying to race and work on the bike at the same time. At one point I came up on Nakano and Kagayama and I couldn't get around them because the clutch kept slipping on me every time I came out of a corner. I tried to change my riding style by going in late on the brakes, but it was useless. After the clutch finally came in I was able to turn in some good laps. I think I turned my best lap with two or three to go. I just wish it [the clutch] would have come in earlier. I know I could have done a lot better.”

The race up front was pretty much a 3-way battle between Fabrizio, Rea, and Haga. With Fabrizio and Rea beating the shit out each other for the win and Spies struggling to for a top ten position, Haga chose to play it cool safe and bring it home in a safe 3rd place. Rea put a rather bold inside move on Fabrizio, and was just able to hang on for his first World Superbike win. Poleman Smrz again took 4th. He'll be on a factory bike next year. Spies managed to clutch it home in 9th spot. As for Hacking...21st. He'll get one more chance at Donington.

Race 2 1) Rea 2) Fabrizio 3) Haga

Even with his trainwreck race 2, Spies managed to take 5 points out of Haga's championship lead. Fabrizio's 2 podiums keep him in contention in 3rd overall.

Top ten points after 8 of 14 rounds

1) Haga 292

2) Spies 244

3) Fabrizio 237

4) Rea 167

5) Biaggi 135

6) Haslam 134

7) Sykes 130

8) Checa 109

9) Smrz 108

10)Kiyonari 98

Next weekend, it's off to Donington Park in dreary old Great Britain. All of the usual suspects will be there. In addition, AMA Superbike rookie, Blake Young, has been drafted in for the injured Max Newkerschner on the Alstare Suzuki. Young and Hacking will duke it out for the honor of '2nd best American'.

T...out

MotoGP Cat-uh-loon-ya

'Holy shit!' ...I must've said this more than a dozen times during the last 3 laps of this race. The 90,000 fans that packed the Barcelona circuit definitely got their Euros-worth as Rossi and Spanish homeboy Jorge Lorenzo, more or less, beat the shit out of each other with Rossi crossing the line 9/100 of a second in front of Lorenzo. With this win, Rossi took his 99th MotoGP win over the number 99 of Lorenzo...did I hear a 'niner' in there?

As far as the actual race...Polesitter Lorenzo got the holeshot followed by Rossi, Stoner, and everyone else. For the first few laps, everyone held station, with the exception of Takahashi, who fired his Honda into an airfence on the first lap. While all this was going, little Jorge managed to open a small gap over Rossi and company.

At this point I think it's going to be another boring race and check to see if 'House' is on. Nope. Back to the race.

Stoner looked to be on the same pace as the leaders for the first half of the race, but eventually dropped off and barely held off Dovisioso for the final podium spot. Stoner had been struggling with the flu all weekend, and you could tell by the way he wobbled up to the podium, that this race really kicked his ass.

22 laps to go...Rossi draws first blood by killing Lorenzo on the brakes taking the lead at the end of the start/finish. Point: Rossi

16 laps to go...Apparently, the last time someone made a last-lap pass for the win in MotoGP was back 2006 in @ Portugal. Spaniard Tony Elias was man who stuffed Rossi for this honor. Here in 2009, Elias also took the honor of being the only rider to crash out (with 22 laps to go) of the Catalan GP race. Nice work, amigo. Donned in their 'throwback' orange jumpsuits, Slipknot ran out(Sid changed his number from '0' to 'Medic') and helped Elias up a step stool and onto his bike. He putted back to his pitbox, yelled at his girlfriend, and took a nap.

13 laps to go...Same as it ever was.

12 laps to go...Lorenzo repays the favor on the brakes and attempts to break away. Point: Lorenzo

3 laps to go...After following Lorenzo around for the last few laps, Rossi decides it's time to go, and, once again, kills Lorenzo on the brakes at the end of the start/finish straight to take the lead. Point: Rossi

2 laps to go...Lorenzo gets the drive out of the final corner and drafts past Rossi...only to have Rossi out-brake him and go around the outside into turn 1 for the lead. Balls.

Rast rap...Lorenzo take rossi on the brakes to lead into the final lap. Lorenzo hangs on to the lead for most of the last lap. Thay's all fine and dandy until Rossi completely stuffs him at the last corner to take the win. Game, Set, Match: Rossi.

Stateside...Colin Edwards finished in his usual 'somewhere between 5th and 10th' with a solid 7th. Homeboy Hayden finally cracked the top ten on his Duck. According to Hayden, the Duck keepers changed 'everything but the handle grips' to better suit him. Just think how much farther up the order he would have finished if only they'd dropped that extra 20-spot on new grips.

Race Result:
1) Rossi Yamaha
2) Lorenzo Yamaha
3) Stoner Ducati
4) Dovisioso Honda
5) Capirossi Suzuki
6) Pedrosa Honda
7) Edwards Yamaha
8) De Puniet Honda
9) Kallio Ducati
10) Hayden Ducati
11) Vermeulen Suzuki
12) De Angelis Honda
12) Toseland Yamaha
14) Melandri Hayate
15) Gibernau Ducati
16) Canepa Ducati
17) Talmasci Honda

Failboat:

Takahashi Honda
Elias Honda

Next stop...Assen.

T...out