Coming soon to a street near you.

Be afraid...or just get some earplugs.

World Superbike @ Assen

It was a busy weekend for this armchair racer. Speed actually showed MotoGP, 250's, and both World Superbike races on the same day. Neato. The Texas Tarantula that is Ben Spies once again managed to nab pole position at a track he had only previously seen on his Playstation. So then...Race 1. Spies gets the holeshot and leads everyone and their mom into turn 1. Spies held the lead while title rival Haga and Britain's Flap-tastic Haslam worked their way up into 2nd and 3rd. Haga finally got under Spies (not in a gay way) and Haslam followed suit. With two laps to go, Spies (in what is probably the best lap of racing I have seen) made his way past Haslam and blew everyone's mind in the process (see 1:51). Spies then tracked down Haga, blew by him for the win. Anyone that can beat Haga in a straight-up last lap battle for the win is a hero. America...Fuck yeah!

Race 1 Highlights

For Spies, race 2 was a lot shorter and way more expensive...

So with Spies out, Haga set off for the win. The rest of the race was fairly uneventful with the exception of Haslam scoring another podium and Jakob 'Too fast for vowels' Smrz getting his first World Superbike podium on the Private duck. Haga now leads Spies by 60 points as they head to the next round at Monza.

Race 1 result
1) Spies
2) Haga
3) Haslam

Race 2 result
1) Haga
2) Haslam
3) Smrz

* Soup pic.

MotoGp @ Motegi, Japan

God hates MotoGP. This is the second round in a row that has been all but washed out. Saturday's qualifying was scrapped altogether due to massive rainstorms and small lakes forming on the track. As a result, the starting grid was set based on Friday's practice times, which put the housewives' favorite Rossi on pole. Rossi got the rabbit's start, fuddled around a bit, and got reeled in and passed for the lead by my personal friend Jorge 'King Midas' Lorenzo. While Rossi dicked around with a charging Pedrosa, Lorenzo gapped those two and set off into the sunset...which turned out to be a huge Japanese flag. Nicky Hayden's race lasted about 3/4 of a lap before he got torpedoed by local ladyboy Takahashi. I hope Haystack finds some luck soon, or his season looks to be headed in a very 'Melandri' direction. Speaking of Melandri, he managed to gallop his way to a 6th place finish aboard the Dorna-sponsored Kawasaki Hayabusa. Extra sugar cubes for you, my friend. That said...Lorenzo took his first win of the season and now holds a commanding 1 point lead in the MotoGP championship. Nice work, little dude. Next stop...Jerez.

Result
1) Lorenzo
2) Rossi
3) Pedrobot



*Pics courtesy of Soup and MCNews Aussie.

Red'sRig2ElectricBoogaloo

There used to be tequila in that there bottle, but some dummy done drank it.

Installed

There weren't any leftover bolts when I got done, so I must have done it right. Viva me!

R.I.P. Lorenzo

The Oscars decided to make a midnight snack out of Lorenzo's legs and torso. Services will be held in the dumpster. Froggy coffin courtesy of a QuickTrip bag. Send motorcycle parts in lieu of flowers.

Christmas in April.

The FedEx dude showed up this morning with some Yoshimura carbon fiber goodness. I'll install it after work and post some more pic...just for Boonie.

Don't taze me, bro!

Yep...it's real.

Hanging around.

More Sunday Randomness (is that a word?)...

...and a picture of Boonie going to a rave.

Aquarium Nerd.

I was really bored (drunk) today, so I whipped out my camera and got all 'Jacques Cousteau' on your ass.

Fresh Meat

I hooked up a sweet deal on some African Jewel Cichlids. They're only about 1 1/2 inches long and a month old. When they mature, they'll grow to about 5 inches long and look effin' sweet...see second pic. Right now they live with the newts and our retarded Cichlid 'Peter'.





This is Peter...he's special.



Newt!...there it is.

Big Black

Making Ministry look like pussies since 1980-whenever...